Silence and Sadness

Secrets

       "Hey. Are you limping? What happened?" Gerard asked as soon as I closed the door. The question surprised me a bit, but it also made me happy. I loved how he just jumped the second he sensed something was wrong with me. "Nothing. I tripped on the stairs and fell a little. I'm fine." I lied, praying silently that he wouldn't see it as the lie that it was. Thankfully, he shrugged and started his car. Before he pulled away, however, he reached over and turned my face to his, pressing his lips against mine. He tasted like coffee and cigarettes, and I loved it. After a minute, Ray said, "Alright, we know you guys love each other, but can we get moving?!" Gee and I pulled away, laughing at our friend's sudden outburst. "Yeah, yeah. Hold your horses, Toro. I'm going." Gee said as he pulled away from my house. We got to school pretty quickly. "Hey, I have to go talk to my math teacher about something. I'll see you later, right?" I said to Gee. "Uh, yeah, sure. See you later. Love you!" Gee said, pressing a small kiss to my lips. I smiled and kissed him back, then headed off on my way. I wasn't going to math, though.

{Bob's POV}

        "Hey, I have to go talk to my math teacher about something. I'll see you later, right?" Frank asked Gee. We were standing around at our normal spot, Mikey, Ray and I talking about after-school plans. I looked up as Frank said the words, and something seemed off. Frank had some kind off look in his eyes, and it seemed vaguely familiar. Then, it hit me. "Uh, yeah, sure. See you later. Love you!" Gee replied before kissing Frank gently. Frank kissed him back with a smile and left. "Hey, I'm going to get going to class. I've got some work to finish up. I'll catch you guys later." I said before rushing off in the direction Frank had gone in. I could feel my friends' eyes digging into my back, watching me run off and wondering what was going on, but I didn't have time to answer their questions. I saw Frank head into the bathroom by the music wing. He was a good three or four feet ahead of me. I quickened my pace, almost plowing down some kid coming off the stairs, and raced into the bathroom. "Frank?!" I asked, looking around. I heard soft crying coming from the last stall, which stopped as soon as I spoke. Slowly, I walked up to the stall door and tapped on it lightly. "Frank?" I asked again. I heard him sniffle and stand up before shuffling to the door and unlocking it. When I entered the stall, Frank was leaning against the back wall, clutching his left arm. That's when I saw it- the blood on his hands, which were now collecting in small drops on the floor. I saw a small, shiny razor blade in his hands. "Oh, God, Frank. I knew you were going to do something bad, but I didn't think it would be this bad. Come here, let's get this cleaned up." I said, taking him by the good arm and dragging him to the sink.  I quickly ran his hand under the water, wincing at the loud hiss that came out from between his teeth. While having him hold his arm under the water, I took the blade from him and pocketed it, planning on throwing it out later. Apparently, the pain seemed to give him a shot back to reality. "Bob? W-What are you doing here?" he asked, looking down at the floor. He looked kind of tired. "Frank, why did you do this?" I asked, showing him the slice on his forearm. He looked ashamed of it, but said, "I-I don't...I don't know, Bob. I've just been...so depressed lately, and my dad...he...and...I've been trying to s-stop for G-Gee, but...I can't." he admitted in a terrified, shaky voice. 

      I sighed and pulled the kid into a hug, rubbing his back as he cried into my shoulder. "Hey, Bob?" he asked. "What?" He looked up at me and asked, "How did you know what I was going to do?" I frowned. "I saw the look in your eye. It...It was the same look...the same look Gee got in his eye when he was thinking about...doing that. I could always tell when he was planning on hurting himself again. This time, I could tell that you were planning to." I said, hurting as the memories came flooding back. Memories of all the times that my best friend had that expression on his face. Frank nodded and pulled away, sniffling and rubbing at his slightly smeared eyeliner with a paper towel. He examined himself in the mirror, then turned to me. "You can't tell Gee about this. Bob, you have to promise me that you won't tell Gee about this." he said in a low, slightly shaky voice. I was shocked. "Frank, he loves you with everything he has. You're one of the only things keeping Gee alive, and you want to put all of that at risk. He's going to be more upset that you lied to him. What if he tries to...?" I couldn't finish. I didn't want to say the words. I felt a little sick to my stomach.  Frank put a hand on my shoulder. "Bob, if Gee finds out about this...Every time I tell him that cutting isn't the answer, every time I tell him that he doesn't need to do it, that I'm here for him...he won't believe me. He'll just say that I do it, too. I'll be a hypocrite. He'll never believe a word I say again. He might try to kill himself then. Bob, you have to promise me that you will not tell him!" he pleaded. I threw my hands up in exasperation. "You ARE a hypocrite, Frank! You sit there and go on and on to Gee that he doesn't have to cut, that nothing is worth killing yourself over, that cutting won't solve his problems, when this whole time, you've been cutting yourself! I can't believe you'd expect me to keep this a secret!" I shouted. 

        Frank shook his head, more tears sliding down his cheeks. "I know. Bob, I promise you, I have been trying to stop. I got rid of all of my razors, but I had to hold onto one. Every time my dad hit me, whenever somebody picked on me, I'd stare at the razor and a picture of Gee, and they'd remind me what I was fighting against, and what I was fighting for. I never had any intention of using the blade, but today...I just...I just slipped. My dad...he hurt me this morning. I slipped. Please, Bob, I promise, I'm going to stop. It just...takes some time. Please, Bob, don't tell Gerard." he pleaded with me. I looked into his eyes, and for the first time, I saw Frank as he truly was- a young kid, alone and scared, who was forced to battle his problem alone because he was too afraid to get help, and because he needed to be there for the one he loved. I pulled a shaking and sobbing Frank into my arms, just as I had so many times before for Gerard. "Shh, it's ok, Frankie. I'm sorry. I know how hard it is. I helped Gee through too many of his own problems not to know what it's like. I promise, I won't tell Gerard. But I'm holding onto your blade for the rest of the day." I said. He looked a little scared, but nodded and said, "Thank you, Bob. So much. Come on, the bell's going to ring soon." I nodded and followed him out of the bathroom. I know Frank is going to need help if he wants to stop.

        And I'm going to help him.

A/N: Well, there you go! Again, thank you guys SO much for getting me to over 200 reads! I still cannot believe how far this story has come, and it's not even nearly over. The guys still have quite a long way to go, so I do hope you stick with me through it all. If you did like this, please vote and/or comment, because your feedback GIVES ME LIFE! No, not really, but I do enjoy reading them. I will update this again as soon as I can. Next on my update list is my Black Veil Brides fanfic, The Wild Ones (BVB), so if you or someone you know likes reading BVB fanfiction, please go on over and read it. It isn't too far yet, I've only got one short chapter, but I promise you that the things I have planned for that story will definitely be interesting. As always, thank you for reading, and I'll see you guys later!