Departure ↠ Argent [3]

26. Static Scream

Silence. That's the only thing I would tune into. The sound of the white noise made it hurt less, but even then it wasn't a cure, let alone an escape to what I had done. 

It was easier when we lost Boyd, and I hated to admit that. Just like Boyd, I barely knew Isaac either. The only difference this time around was that I knew that it was me that changed the future; when Boyd died, I didn't have the mindset that I had done it. Knowing that someone that wasn't supposed to die lost their life because of me was almost too much to bear. I felt like the weight of the world was dangling on my shoulders and I couldn't breathe. 

Jade was affected the most. Despite witnessing Isaac die in her arms as she cried over his body, she turned into someone that I didn't know. 

"Jade," Scott breathes as he reaches his hand out to touch her shoulder, but the moment he lays his hand on her, she yanks herself away.

She shakes her head as she looks up then, Isaac's lifeless eyes still gazing upon the sky. "This can't be happening...this isn't happening!"

Scott kneels down next to her as she stares across at him, her face wrinkling up and turning into ugly sobs. Never did I expect Jade to care that much about someone; not even me. She was that type of person to lock away her feelings for anyone, and to see all of that emotion come out at once was something that broke my heart even more.

"This wasn't supposed to happen," she breathes as Scott pulls her into him, letting her cry on him. "This wasn't what was supposed to happen!"

Her words echo in my mind as I stare frozen at Scott and her, everything else around me crashing down. Jade was right; this wasn't supposed to happen. It was supposed to be Allison; Isaac wasn't supposed to take her place. 

As I stared at the two of them, I couldn't help but feel almost...relieved. I hated myself for it, but I couldn't stop telling myself that at least it wasn't Allison. At least I wasn't the one crying over her dead body right now. I was selfish. 

But seeing Jade cry that way made me feel as if I had lost her too. She was going to hate me; I killed the boy she cared about. She was too busy focused on saving Allison that she looked  away from Isaac, and she was too slow. She couldn't save both of them.

Jade looks up at me over Scott's shoulder then, her eyes speaking more words than one. "This wasn't supposed to happen..."

She didn't say the words she wanted to, but I knew it was what she was thinking behind those eyes of hers. "It's your fault!" she would scream at me,"I hope you're happy now. You got your perfect ending." I wished that she would go off on me for some reason, just because I deserved it. 

As for Allison, she wouldn't leave my side. The whole time everyone was focused on Isaac, she was busying herself as she tended to my wound from the Oni's sword. I knew she was just doing it to distract herself; that's how she coped with grief. I realized that when her mother had died and she turned to Gerard for relief.

She was still with me as well as I sat in this hospital bed, thinking about what had happened a few hours before. Right now she was asleep in the chair next to me, and I was envious of her. I haven't been able to even close my eyes. Every time I tried to sleep, I was greeted with an image of Isaac being stabbed or Allison, so I eventually just gave up.

I look up then when I see Melissa walk into the room, her face filled with just as much grief as the rest of us. I knew she knew Isaac more than me, but I think most of her grief was because of how young Isaac was. "You're not sleeping are you?"

"I can't sleep," I shake my head as I sit up a little bit farther. I glance down at Allison. "She's passed out cold though."

Melissa stops and smiles faintly down at her. "At least one of us is able to rest."