Loving Olivia

Chapter 27 - What About Us?

"We?" Nico says worriedly.

I gulp and it takes every ounce of my willpower to say, "She thinks I should go with her too."

Nico's face pales just as mine did when my mom told me the same thing last night.

"When?"

"In the summer."

"Do you want to go?" he asks, looking terrified.

"I don't know," I reply in all honesty. "On paper it seems like I should, but I don't know if I want to. Plus, I would have to transfer to a school there, and I don't know if they'll still take me."

"They will," Nico says softly. He drops his head into his hands, completely avoiding my gaze. He doesn't say anything else or ask any more questions. I don't know what else to say either, and this heaviness falls between us like I've never felt before.

The room becomes silent, and I wish I knew what he was thinking. It's not like him to be the quiet one. I'm the quiet one.

"Nico," I murmur, but he doesn't move from his position or acknowledge me.

I drop to the floor next to him and soothe his back. He exhales sharply as I rub his shoulders and run my fingers through his hair. He surprises me by reaching behind him and clutching my hand. I feel his body tremble against me, and I don't understand what's happening until he lets out a shaky breath. My heart clutches in an instant, and it feels like it's about to break when I wrap my arms around him.

He finally lifts his head and rests it against my shoulder, pressing my body tightly against his as we come closer together. I hear him sniffle, but what really kills me is when I feel a teardrop on my shirt. No one has ever cried for me before, and it tears me apart.

"Nico," I repeat, but my voice cracks and I'm rendered speechless.

He pulls away from me and quickly wipes his cheeks. "Sorry," he whispers, looking embarrassed for the first time since I've known him.

"It's okay, Nico."

He looks up at me for the first time since I delivered the news. His eyes are sad and defeated, like he's already come to accept that I'm leaving.

"I haven't decided yet," I remind him, clutching his hand.

He shakes his head. "You owe it to yourself to go, Olivia. It would be stupid if you didn't."

"Why? My whole life is here. This is the life I've chosen."

"You only chose to stay because of your dad. You would've gone if he hadn't been sick, and now you're getting a second chance to do what you really wanted in the first place."

"Yeah, but things have changed since then, Nico. I don't know if I want that anymore. It makes sense for my mom to go. Her sisters are there, she'll probably get a better job, she can start over. Nothing is holding her back. It's different for me."

"It's not different. Nothing is holding you back either. It's your future, Olivia. Think about it. You would be so much better off if you graduated from a prestigious college in Boston."

"Not necessarily," I disagree. "I can still do the things I want to do here. What's the difference?"

"Olivia. It would be a disservice, not only for you, but for everybody else that dreams they could have that kind of opportunity. When you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room."

I sigh in frustration, knowing he has a point, but also hating that he's not seeing this from my perspective at all. He's treating it like a math equation, but there's so much more to life than basing your decisions on statistics and pie charts.

"What about us?" I ask him. I find it hard to believe that he's not even considering our relationship as part of this.

"I don't know," he answers curtly, looking away from me.

"What don't you know?" I ask, trying to remain calm.

He sighs and stands up from the couch, walking away from me. I don't understand his sudden change in behavior. It's not what I was expecting at all.

"What don't you know, Nico?" I repeat more forcefully.

He doesn't answer, which only irritates me further. I stand up and walk over to the kitchen where he's standing, leaning against the counter. "So that's it? You're just giving up? You're not going to fight for us?"

"Olivia, I can't ask you to stay. I can't hold you back. It wouldn't be fair to you. Please understand."

"Because it's the noble thing to do? Fuck being noble. Tell me how you really feel. Tell me you want me to stay. Ask me to stay!" I say angrily.

"I can't, Olivia! You're making this more difficult than it needs to be!" he yells.

I flinch at his words. He's never yelled at me before, and I've never seen this cold and distant look on his face.

But before I can even react, the front door swings open and my brother comes rushing in. Oh dear lord. I hope he didn't hear us from outside.

"What the fuck, Durant?" he says, getting in between us as he faces Nico. "I could hear you yelling at my sister from the fucking elevator."

"Olivia, I'm sorry," Nico immediately says.

"Well, I don't give a damn," Andres says to Nico. "You don't yell at her. Ever."

"I know and I'm sorry. Olivia, please talk to me," Nico says, looking remorseful. He tries to step around Andres to get to me, but he stops him.

"You should leave," Andres says.

"Dude, c'mon. This is between me and Olivia. Stay out of it."

"She doesn't want to talk to you," he replies.

"What the hell do you know?"

"Do you see her responding to you? She's silent because she needs some space."

"Go on, tell me about Olivia like I don't know her," Nico responds angrily.

"Stop! Both of you," I say, immediately getting both of their attention. If I don't stop this, there will be fists involved pretty soon. "Stop deciding what's best for me. Only I can decide that. Not either of you."

Nico's expression falls, and I'm afraid I've hurt him. But he's hurt me too tonight. It hurts that he's given up on us, that he's willing to just walk away after everything we've been through. That he won't fight for us. He thinks I'm making this more difficult than it needs to be. Well maybe I should make it easier. If that is what he wants.

I swallow the massive lump in my throat and walk straight back to my room, shutting the door behind me.