IT'S BEEN A WHILE now since I heard the voice of the Holy spirit. And as time continues to pass by slowly, but mercifully uneventful, my peace at his words begins to wane. I start to wonder if the only way for us to connect is through misery. For it was when my soul was broken, I felt his soothing presence.
So here I am today at church. I sit restlessly as the sermon progresses. I am eager to ask Pastor Mark my question, and to hear his opinion as well as share my experience. But as I finally tune in to the message, and listen, I find that I don't need to bother. God himself has heard my question and is giving me an answer through Pastor Mark.
" Some of us have heard about encounters with the Holy spirit." He says as he looks around at us. " We've read about it and heard about it so much, that it almost feels like we've had an encounter ourselves.
" But hearing about the Holy spirit and coming to contact with him, are two very different things. Nothing can be compared to the serenity and joy his presence provides." At this I nod my head with some of others in the church. Proud to have felt this experience for myself. " And when we finally connect with him. This feeling can become addictive."
" For those of us who haven't felt this, we wonder at it. And we conclude that either it's a random thing that some people are lucky to experience, or that it's our fault because we're not holy enough.
" And for those of us who have felt it and have lost the ability, we may feel thet we've probably done something to piss God off and that's why we can't hear the Holy spirit anymore." Those words make me feel cold. This is because I was going over that very possibility myself. His next words, however, give me comfort.
" These assumptions, though right in one way, are completely misconceived in another. In the first instance, it is only lucky people who have this experience- and it's not because they're holy either. It's because thier lucky enough to make use of the grace God has given us, to block out all the worldly concerns that inhibit us from flowing smoothly in the spirit.
"It's a well known fact that this is very difficult for most of us, while for some of us it's an impossibility! You know we've got our jobs to think about, our relationships, our kids, our careers and all that. And I'm not saying that these things are wrong to think about, but most of the time we get caught up in the daily hussle of our lives so much that we become too busy for the Holy spirit. That's one of the reasons why we can't hear from him.
" Now some of you are asking,' Is he trying to say only those without commitments can connect with the Holy spirit? ' No I'm not. In fact, it's even more impressive when those with commitments manage to achieve this feat. Because this shows a high level of spiritual maturity.
" In the second instance-" At this my breath catches. This is what I've been waiting for. So I cross my fingers, out of habit, and wait for his next words. " You may have just become too busy to hear him anymore. But if you've sinned, then it's probably your guilt that's stopping you. When we sin and we ask God for forgiveness, he gives it to us. But our guilt at the gravity of our sin doesn't leave us as quickly as God forgives us. It lingers and the devil takes advantage of this, to hinder our communication with God and the Holy spirit. He makes us feel like God's probably still holding a grudge against us, that's why he won't let us hear the Holy spirit. But the Holy spirit's always there. The Bible tells us he's our heavenly companion, a gift from God. He'll never leaves us- in fact, most of the time we leave him.
" So forgive yourself today and find time to seek him despite your responsibilities. You'll always find him there for you."
The rest of the sermon goes on. But I stop listening. I have what I need, and I am anxious to hear from him again. After the service, I hurry off. Where I am headed is not definite in my mind, but the one thing I do know is that I need to go somewhere quiet to seek him out.
*** Another Chapter, another truth! I hope this chapter speaks to you like it did me. God speaks to us in fascinating ways:-)! Shout out to all those who have read and added or voted for this book. Your support is appreciated dearly. And if you haven't, don't forget to vote, share and comment! ***
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HE LIVES IN ME
SpiritualAnnie is a new convert to the Christian faith and she still has trouble leaving her past behind sometimes. She knows it's not always easy to bury the ugliness of the past. Join her as she tackles her doubts and questions about the things that happen...
