Taking Chances

Doubts and Disbelief

"How long have you been courting Sarah?" Xian asked. They were playing pool at his house.

"8 months." It was Matt's turn. He studied his next shot. He was playing so bad that he had to believe that luck just wasn't on his side that night.

"8 months na ba?!!! Tagal na pala tapos di ka pa din sinasagot. Seems like you're losing your touch."

He aimed for the ball and released the cue stick. He missed again.

"Good things are worth waiting for man." He smiled as he thought of how great things were going with Sarah. He may be a loser at billiards but he was almost sure of victory when it came to his love.

"Nakakapagtaka lang kasi. What is she waiting for? Unless... I don't know..." He hesitated.

"Unless what?" Matt raised an eyebow.

"Unless she hasn't moved on from her past relationship yet." Xian continued.

Matt shook his head. He was sure of how Sarah felt for her. She's only waiting for the right time.

"I promise you man, she's not ending up with anybody else but me. It's only a matter of time." He took his phone out and looked at Sarah's photo. No way, he thought. I wouldn't allow it.

_________

"Next level ang beauty mo ngayon sis. Ang galing mag-alaga ni Matt Matt. Iba talaga ang nagagawa ng pag-ibig!" Rachelle Anne was pressing her hands to her cheeks, sighing in delight.

Sarah and Shin were on Skype for their regular life events update.

"Ganon? Pag-ibig agad ang dahilan? Di ba pwedeng sa diet and exercise mo muna ibintang." Sarah said. But she couldn't hide that she was pleased by her best friend's observation.

"Haha. That glow couldn't be achieved kahit na gano karaming gulay ang kainin mo no." Shin smiled. "Remember when you first called me about Matteo?"

Sarah suppressed a smile. She remembered how scared she was of hurting Matt. "I didn't know then that things would turn out this good."

"Ang tanong... Kelan mo ba sya sasagutin?"

Sarah bit her lip. "Pinagdadasal ko pa rin sis. Mahirap kasi magkamali." She still couldn't trust herself to take the next step. The last time she followed her heart, she got burned. She wanted to take it slow.

Shin nodded. "Ok. Take your time. Pero tandaan mo lang na sa sometimes you really need to take a leap of faith. You'll never know unless you try diba."

"May point ka naman talaga dyan..." Sarah's voice trailed off. "Basta! Feeling ko naman malapit na. O sige na nga alis ka na! Baka ma-bloody late ka sa bloody practice nyo."

"Ok best. Good night sayo at Good morning sa akin!"

Sarah turned off the laptop with a smile on her face. Buntot was busy circling around her feet, pressing his face against her leg.

"Manang mana ka sa tatay mo! Clingy ka masyado!" Sarah put the dog on her lap and caressed its head. Buntot barked happily.

Then her phone rung. She checked the time. A little past 2AM. It must be Matt... But then it was not like him to call that early in the morning.

Her heart suddenly felt like it wanted to go out of her chest when she saw who was calling. It was Bernard!

Instinctively, she cancelled the call. But there he went again.

Her throat began to dry up and her hands suddenly got cold. The phone kept on ringing. There was no other way. With shaking hands she answered the call.

"Gising ka pa?" He seemed uneasy.

Sarah was irritated. What the hell was this about? "Anong kailangan mo?"

He couldn't answer for a while. "Ano??!" Sarah almost screamed in frustration.

"Come out for a second. Usap tayo." Sarah's heart pounded wildly. He was actually outside.

"Bakit mo ba ginagawa sa kin to..." Sarah pleaded.

"Sorry Sasa. Please come out. Sandali lang talaga."

Sarah put down the phone. She was shaking. She stood up and looked out of the window. She saw his car from a distance. It was starting to rain. Bernard was standing outside, staring at her.

She was paralyzed for a moment. The rain started to get heavy. He stayed where he was getting completely drenched.

"Bwisit ka Bernard!" She cursed under her breath. Reluctantly, she went down, took an umbrella and went to where he was.

Memories rushed back with every step that she took. This was the first guy that ever held her hand. The first guy who made her dream of a future together. The first guy she gave her heart to...

This was also the same guy who gave up on her and left her with no one to break her fall.

"Ano?" Sarah asked coldly. She stood next to him so he could stand under her umbrella.

Bernard smiled, obviously touched at the gesture. "Di ka pa din nagbabago. Ayaw mo pa rin ako nababasa sa ulan."

Hot tears flowed down her face now. "Tumigil ka nga! Wala ka ng karapatan magsalita ng ganyan! Ano bang gusto mo?!!" She asked angrily.

"Wala... I just needed to see you." Bernard said weakly.

"See me?" Sarah repeated with disgust. "Alam ba ng girlfriend mo ang pinagagawa mo?!"

"I don't want anything from you. Gusto lang talaga kita makita..."

Bernard put both hands at the back of his head. "Nababaliw na ko Sarah..." He said helplessly.

Sarah couldn't believe it. Right when she was almost done picking up the pieces of her life, he barges in to break her down again.

"Umuwi ka na Bernard. Wala na kong pakialam kung mabaliw ka man dyan. Wag mo na kong guguluhin ulit." She said through clenched teeth.

"You're right. Ano bang ginagawa ko. Ang saya saya nyo na nga pala ni Matt ngayon." He was laughing through his tears.

Sarah had no more words left in her. She was already shivering. Not from the rain, but from the confusion and pain that she was feeling inside.

"Pasok ka na Sa. Pasensya na sa abala."

She instantly turned and began to walk home. She didn't look back. It was like trying to wake up from a bad dream.

She only heard the car start when she got inside. How could Bernard be doing this now? What was he thinking?

Sarah went back to her room and laid awake, trying to wrap her mind around what had happened until it was morning.