A New Form of Therapy

All The Feelings

I look around and realize how many gifts people had in their hands. One girl had a bag almost as tall as she was. What in the world could be in there?!

"I now feel old," Marcus admits as groups start going in to see Justin. To meet Justin. I can't keep my nerves hidden. I just hope that Justin takes my begging seriously.

"Same," I say, adding a short laugh. I take a deep breath. Marcus notices.

"Are you okay?" Marcus asks. I can feel his hand resting on my lower back. It calms me a little. "If you're uncomfortable doing this, we can leave."

Yes, I want to scream. Yes, I want to leave now before my boyfriend meets my unknown ex-boyfriend. Instead of saying this, I just shake my head. "No, I'm fine. It's just... memories coming back to me."

Marcus is quiet, but I can see what he is thinking. He's wondering if this was a good idea. No, it wasn't a good idea. Not at all. But I can't tell him that. If I tell him that, I have to tell him why it is a bad idea. I would have to tell him about being in love with Justin.

"Am I ever going to know what happened? I mean, you never talk about it. I've done the whole awkward ex-girlfriend talk with you but you haven't told me anything about your last relationship." Marcus is whispering to me. We step forward in the line.

"It was complicated," I say honestly. "I promise though, I will tell you. I'm hoping your idea works. Justin.... Well, he was a big part of the reason me and my ex got together." I drop my voice lower. We are only four people away from going in. "The break up was kind of sudden and hard. I really did love him but we wanted different things."

I stop talking, pressing my lips tight. I can feel the tears knocking on the back of my eyes. I don't want to cry. Not right now. Marcus pulls me in closer and I can feel his lips against my hair. I smile and lean into him.

"Move up, please." I notice that the lady is talking to us. She seems irritated. We take two steps closer. We're going in next. I swallow hard and take Marcus's hand. I know he can feel that my palms are sweaty. I'm surprised he hasn't figured it out yet, but I'm grateful he hasn't. I just need to get through the next two or three minutes. God, I hope it's only that long.

"Next," the lady says and I steel myself to see him again. This is it. I pray that Justin acts like we never met before.

I keep Marcus's hand in mine as we walk through the door and around the corner. He's standing right there. He isn't doing anything. He doesn't react. He just stands there. One hand in his pocket. His hat on backward. White pants. Black shirt with a low v-neck. Red and white shoes. Smile.

That smile.

My hand involuntarily holds onto Marcus's tighter.

I look at Justin's eyes. They are brown. The same brown I've stared into many times as we sat in my apartment. The same brown I looked into right before walking out the door.

"Hi," Justin says. It's only been a second since we walked in, but that was the longest second of my life. "How are you?"

"I'm good," Marcus says. He holds out his hand to greet Justin. I can't breath for the four seconds they shake hands. Yes, I counted. Four seconds.

I know I need to say something. "It's nice to meet you."

I take Justin's hand. My breath catches in my throat. I can feel Justin's thumb rubbing a little circle on my hand. I pull away from him, giving him a stare that tells him everything.

"What are your names?" He doesn't look at Marcus. He doesn't take his eyes off of me. I struggle to find my voice. To act like we don't know each other.

"I'm Lindsey and this," I drop Justin's hand and take Marcus's back. "This is my boyfriend Marcus. He's a fan."

"And you're not?" Justin asks. I'm a therapist. I can hear the underlying question and concern in his voice. I don't get the chance to answer before Marcus speaks up.

"We're working on it," Marcus says, throwing a smile to me before looking back to Justin. He's so innocent in this. All he wanted to do was help. This is the opposite of helping. Justin and I are both doing nothing but lying.

"Well, why don't we work on it some more?" Justin asks. I can see he has an idea forming in his mind. He has that smile. That expression on his face. I know that expression oh too well. He's about to say something without filtering it before saying it. I tense up.

I look at Marcus. His confusion is clear. I don't know what to say. I just hope that Justin doesn't mess this up. I just want to take the picture and be done with it.

"I was planning on doing a surprise One Less Lonely Girl performance. Maybe you would like to be the girl to come on stage with me?"

**AHH! Cliff hanger!! What should/ do you think she is going to say?! It won't be too long for another update! Possibly Thursday!**