Pull Me Closer

Chapter 2

This is a picture of Geo everyone! (I have a really big crush on him) If you wanted to know who he is he's a Youtuber but he's more famous for his live streams on YouNow. His Instagram is @flamingeos and so is his Youtube. He's so cute omggg (imagine he read this fanfic lmao)

The sound of knocking on my front door wakes me up, I force my eyes open and sit up on my sofa. I couldn't bring myself to sleep on the bed.

I pull on my dressing gown seeing as I'm wearing tiny shorts and a cropped tank top, I don't want to give the delivery guy the wrong idea.

I sleepily shuffle to my door and undo the lock, the door opens and my heart stops when I see who it is. Ryan.

I don't know what to say, I just stand there, frozen. My eyes are locked in his, for the first time, I honestly don't feel anything. Anger, sadness...nothing. He's dead to me.

"Megan..." he begins, but he doesn't continue.

"I don't have anything to say to you except from get the hell away from me," I say, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Meg please."

"What? What do you want from me, Ryan? Do you know how much you've hurt me? We've been through so much together, my father's death, the abuse and...and you were always there for me. And now I have nobody, is that what you wanted? Well congratulations, you've fucking broken my heart, okay?"

Ryan doesn't reply, I can't even look at him.

"Megan...I'm...I'm so sorry, you don't know how much I hate myself. It was a heat of the moment thing, I was angry at you and I needed to...I needed to let out that anger somehow.."

"What? By fucking the first blonde you see? Oh please, Ryan, tell me how long has it been going on? One month, two? I told you I couldn't do stuff like that, I wasn't ready after what happened. You said you understood..." tears roll down my cheeks and I feel Ryan's thumb wipe them away. "Don't touch me! Don't touch me after you've touched her!" I scream, moving away from the door.

"Megan? Megan it's only me, Ryan. Come on, you've got to understand, okay?"

I can't breathe, my breaths come out in choking sounds and my body begins to tremble. I collapse on the floor and desperately gasp for air. I hadn't had a panic attack in months, I thought I was getting better. Obviously not.

Familiar voices echo down the corridor of flats.

"Meg!" Annie yells, I hear the footsteps thundering down.

"What the hells going on?" Geo shouts, coming to my side.

I realise Ryan's gone, he didn't try and help me. He just left.

I regain control of my breathing before the tears start pouring out.

"R-Ryan...he came...it's been going on longer than I thought...I had a panic attack..." I say.

"Come on, let's get you on the sofa," Geo says.

His arms snake under my legs and the other one lifts me up, I bury my face into his neck and go limp. Damn, he smells good, the thought makes me giggle as he lays me on the sofa.

"What's so funny?" Annie grins. "I thought you were dying just now Meg, god, don't ever do that again."

I close my eyes, Ryan was the trigger. The trigger to the panic attack, I used to get them all the time as a kid. My counselor said it was understandable considering everything I've been through, my stepfather...he used to abuse me. There wasn't a day I wasn't put through excruciating pain, the feeling of his hands digging into my skin is embedded into my memory. His sick touch and voice...the thought makes me gag.