Fall in May

~9~ The Blind Leading the Dumb.

"I'll definitely have to keep that in mind." I immediately file that under won't be here long enough to care. "What about you, Maybe? What's your next stop on the crazy train?"

"My last year of mandatory math for dummies with rotating substitute teacher, Coach O'Something. Ah, remedial math..." She sighs wistfully. "...just me and all those big strapping young varsity athletes. Delving into the eternal numerical mysteries of trains from distant places crashing into each other at different speeds."

"And thanks to substitute Coach O'Something, I will also get to enjoy all kinds of useful sports analogies related to the numbers." May deadpans dryly. "You know for years I could only do addition in forward progress, and subtraction in penalty yards? Multiply in standard scoring sequences of goals, baskets and extra point conversions. But dummy math division is the best, cause no matter what the problem is, the answer was always the same."

"How does that work?" I inquiry curiously.

"Duh dude, divide and conquer." She starts snickering. "See Dummy, I bet you didn't even know conquer was a number, huh?"

"No, I did not." I chuckle along with her singsong. "So any ideas on how I get from here to room D 35?"

May suddenly stills, and her answer to my question is a strange silence. Now it's my turn to pull her out of her own head.

"Ah...May?" I intrude on her sudden solitude.

"Wait, were you actually asking me how to get to room D-whatever?" She scowls down.

"Yeah?"

"Seriously?" May's mouth makes a slightly pouty moue of unhappiness.

"Ah...yeah?" Now I know that I am on thin ice with her, but I have no choice but to keep going until I fall through the frost and drown.

"So you're actually asking me ...for directions to your next classroom?" She tilts her head to the side and scowls back behind her shades at me.

"And again ...yeah?" I am suddenly highly uncomfortable, as I suppress my unnatural impulse to start over-explaining myself to her, yet again. "Why, should I not ask you that? Like is that not cool or something?"

"Mmmm?" May slowly lowers her nightshades at me, and for the first time, I get just glimpse of her eyes behind the top rim of her shades. A sliver of light golden amber, squeezed closed tightly in consternation.

"You know?" May starts slowly. "I think this might be the first time in my life, that I've ever actually been asked for directions on how to get somewhere before?" She slowly brightens back again. "So I guess this is another first for a day of firsts?"

"So is that a, o'yeah, cool'cool I got you?  Or a naw'not, on the direction thing?" I push my luck a little.

"That's actually an, o'yeah coo'cool." She tastes the words slowly as she navigates her way through the mental maps she has prepared thru the years of her time in this fine institution. 

Most recently last week, when she did her annual preschool walkabout thru the school with April and Mrs. St. Claire, the mean Sleestak Queen. Something I will come to find out is one of May's many "navigation secrets". The advanced preparation for immediate navigation under duress. May's first rule of going someplace new ...always know where the nearest restroom is. Or what May refers to as the "protocols of gotta pee now!" navigation prioritization.

"So yes, I can show you exactly how to get to D hall from here." May smirks back up from her mental journey thru the next thousand steps and back into the current. "And as luck would have it, D-35 is just a couple doors down D hall from D-29. Which is where they stack the all dummies for our mandatory hour of 'numbers learnin' with substitute Coach O'Something, don't cha know?"