Fall in May

~9~ The Blind Leading the Dumb.

"Well, that wasn't very insightful." I drone trying to break the spell of the evil little elf.

"Oh Lifeguard Darren, you have so much more to learn about the ways of the Pod People." May sighs sadly. "But I think it's safe to say that someone just made a new special friend."

"Yeah, I think it's safe to say at this point that the loathing is mutual." I retort missing the implication, as usual.

"Well, I think he really likes you." May drops her voice to an almost conspiratorial whisper. "And by likes you, I mean he 'likes you likes you'. Cause I got the distinct impression he really wants to personally facilitate you for ass'simulation. You see where I'm headed with this, right?" 

While I know full well she is having some fun at my expense. But truth be told, I am just glad to see that her wicked smirk has returned with a vengeance.

"Oh yeah, I can already tell me and that thing, are gonna get along just swimmingly. Cause I definitely am picking up that whole pod people vibe you were talking about. I think it's a safe bet I am most defiantly marked for something." I remark dryly.

Because now the mean little mini man can't keep his greedy eyes off me. Like I'm a brand new toy in the orphanage, and Or'sir just has to be the first one to break me in.

"Why do I suddenly get the feeling that my lifetime here in Hell is going to be a little more interesting with you around Lifeguard Darren? Yeah, think that I'm gonna have to keep an eye on you ...young man." May's mimicry of Or'sir is so creepily uncanny, that I can actually feel my skin crawl with bad vibes.

"Seriously creepy." I shake off the shivers trying to attach themselves to my spine.

"So anyways, now that we've found you an alternative prom date, what's up next on your first day at a new school to do list?" May grins at my chagrin.

Pretty much waiting for an opening to stomp Or'sir's dome into crunchy mush, until his brains bleed out his ears. Maybe kick his teeth in and take some of his nubby little gnome nubs for a nice new necklace of creep teeth?

"Ah hello? Lifeguard Darren?" May singsongs me back into reality.

"Sorry, what did you say?" My lovely vision of mayhem is momentarily shattered.

"What's your next class, Coach?" May inquires sweetly.

"Ah ...no idea, let me check?" I recheck my schway'dule, and start trying to orientate myself to the mini-map to figure out how to get from here to there. "Looks like Algebra II-Trig?"

"Is that with Mr. Singh or Mrs. Mott?" May's queries back.

"Singh?" I confirm.

"Lucky you, dude." She mugs appreciatively.

"Is that good lucky or bad lucky?" I inquire.

"Meh." She shrugs. "I had Singh for remedial math my freshman year. He actually okay'ish for a tennis coach, I suppose? He does have a really cool Kalistiani accent, but he's super stoic and has zero sense of humor. But other than the whole stoic thing he rocks on the regular, he's genuinely a pretty nice guy, at least for a teacher."

"One thing about Singh though, if he likes you, you'll never know it. And if he hates you, you'll never know it. At least not until the final grades come out anyways, then surprise!" She singsongs along. "My surprise was that I actually passed dummy math with a damn decent grade. Other peoples surprises were more along the lines of: How I spent my summer vacay doing dummy math again, with the big man in the turban. If you get my drift?"