Predator

Part 9

"Yes. It is. I can't forget what you did to me, how you betrayed Shield and how they told me with so much sadness and hate in their eyes. You didn't just destroy me, you destroyed them too. You made them think you cared which is what you're doing with me"

"No. This is me Jess. The real me. I don't have to hide anymore. I don't have to betray anyone anymore" He looked at me sadly and I could feel myself already giving in. I had to fight it unless I'd be completely his.

"Ward-" Suddenly his lips crashed against mine and It felt like all my hate, all my anger and frustration had suddenly disappeared and was replaced by love, passion and lust. I moved my hand, letting his hair brush through my fingers as I kissed back, putting all my new emotions into it.

It was just me and him. There was no more Hydra, no more Shield just Me and Ward, lost in a passionate kiss not wanting it to ever end.

I pulled away slightly to catch my breath as he placed his forehead on mine. I knew he wasn't pretending, I knew that this was real. All the emotion and passion he put into that kiss showed me that he cared about me, that all he needed in his life now was me.

"You can have me, all of me... But I need something from you" He looked deeply into my eyes and I waited. "I want your heart. Scrap that, I need your heart. I need you"

"How about my pinky" I joked and he just smiled, laughing softly. "Maybe in time. I need you to show me you mean this" I waited for his reaction but he did nothing but stare.

"I'll earn your love and trust. I'll prove myself to you I promise" And with that I kissed him again. I couldn't help myself. As much as I hated to admit it, I loved him. I needed him. All these different emotions coursing through my body was because of him, for the better or the worse. He was a drug to me, so bad for me but it felt so good.

I couldn't go back now, I was in too deep. I knew I wanted Ward, I've known that ever since I was first kidnapped. He was the bad guy who I turned good. The bad guy who would change and become good just for me. I made him a better person but did he make me the opposite? Did he make me destroy everything I had with Lance, with Shield just to be with him. Could I sacrifice everything just for this one man who aimed to destroy Shield?

I pulled away and stood back staring at him. Was he that good at manipulating people that he could fake these feelings for me just to turn me against everyone? Prove a point? Kick Shield when they're down?

"What's wrong" He asked, looking at me confused. I had so much doubt in my mind even though apart of me tried to push it aside.

"No matter what I feel for you, I can't trust you Ward. You're very skilled in manipulation tactics and I can't shake the feeling that this is all a lie to get back at Shield" I shook my head, limping off. 

"I have no reason to lie. I'm not with Hydra anymore!" I could hear the anger in his voice but I ignored him and sat down. I wanted to let myself be happy, I wanted to love again but I just couldn't. 

"Give me time"

"Do you know how hard this is for me?" He asked and I turned to look at him. He was really angry, like I had done something wrong. "Every time I love, every time I try to do something good...Shield gets in the way and blocks that. They hid the truth from you and you're still protecting them! Jess! They're getting in the way of you as well! Why can't you see that!"

"Maybe because you were Hydra and you killed a lot of people. The people who you were working for killed my parents and you were going to kill me! Maybe that's why!" I shouted back at him. 

"You're still alive! I give up everything for you!" He pulled me up, holding my wrists tight as the fire in his eyes pierced through my brain.

"Then maybe you shouldn't have because you're proving right now that you haven't changed" I spat and he stared at me hurt. I wasn't going to feel sorry for him this time. "People can't change that easily. Once evil, always evil"

"You're consumed by so much hate for me...You told me to forgive and forget yet you can't even stand by that yourself. You told me hate only made you weaker" He flipped it back on me making me angry now. 

"Maybe I was wrong, maybe some things you can't just forget and maybe some people can't be forgiven. Especially when they lie to you and manipulate you" I glared at him.

"Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You kissed me back, you enjoyed it. It's like you have two personalities. One half of you loves me, wants me, wants you to give in and be happy yet the other refuses to let you do so. I just want you to be happy and I'd do anything for that to happen. I left Hydra, I'm trying to change but it's hard when I become something I'm not for so many years. I'm trying Jess. For you" 

"And I'm trying to forget everything you did to me but I can't!" I teared up, hitting his chest lightly. I didn't have the strength to fight him. "I wish I could trust you but I can't. You did that to me" 

"I'm so sorry" He whispered pulling me into a hug. 

"I wish I never met you. I wish I never saw your face because you're so evil and cruel and twisted and it makes me sick because I need you, I know you'll keep me safe, I know I'll be loved and I know that you'll do anything for me and that's what I want. I want love" I whimpered into his chest as he held me tighter. 

"Then give me a chance and I'll show you love" He whispered into my ear and all I did was nod. If I kept fighting, If I kept refusing him then it would make me depressed. It'd eat away at me and I'd have no life. If I gave in I'd have the chance to be happy, to be loved and to have a life where I didn't have to worry about trusting the wrong people because they'd prove to me that they're worth the trust I put in them. 

I looked up at him and kissed him again, ever so softly. This was something I needed to do. I had to risk everything including my mental health just to see if I could be happy and deep down I believed that Ward could make me happy.