Why the fuck do ppl think it's okay to die? Or want to die? Like rn im in tears bc im scared of more than two people dying and leaving me
Someone that I hardly ever talk to
Blakie
And Rhylan
If any of those leave me, im fucked
Rhylan: helps me stay positive
Blakie: keeps me alive
Jaydon (I think): keeps me believing bc hes been through alot of shit
So has Rhylan
So has Blakie
So have I
But ive made it
Blakie has made it
I know Rhylan wants to make it
But if Rhylan dies, then fuck...
If Blakie dies...ill find a way to die myself
I can't handle another person just straight up dying and leaving me
I can't handle what's going on with Rhylan
I can't handle the fear I have of Blakie just disappearing and then hearing that he's dead
I can't handle the nightmares i have of losing everyone that I love
I have nightmares of Blakie leaving
Of Rhylan never getting out of the hospital bed
Of Blakie never waking back up
Of Rhylan being carried to a cemetery
Or Blakie...just...not liking me anymore
I'm annoying and a bother and stupid and weird and a loser
I don't want Blakie to think that I am
Even though I'm always myself around with him...I'm still scared he'll just up and hate me
My biggest fear is him leaving me
Anyone leaving me actually
My scariest nightmare was never getting to have what I have now
First it was Maya...
Then my sister...
Soon probably Rhylan...
I never want to say Rhylans name in this
Or Blakies
I'm more than torn that I have to say Maya or my Sister...
RIP Maya
You were beautiful, unique, and amazing. We'll love you forever
RIP Rebecca
You were the best sister I could've asked for. I'll do more than miss you...
