Nothing Less

Chapter Twenty-Two.

He has roots with her. She owns a part of him that I'm never going to be able to take from her. That part of him, all his first memories will never be mine. But, do I need them? He doesn't have my first either. I shared them with another man. Why does it bother me so much, then? Is it because my ex isn't hanging over us, still calling my phone while we lay in bed together?

My mind pushes a memory up front, reminding me of the look on Cliff's face when Hardin had him in a headlock on the floor. The way his bones crunched when Hardin's boot pressed them into the floor. He sent him here, to check on me. I know he did, yet I haven't had the courage to ask him. I would rather not confirm my worst suspicions.

Dakota begged me, right outside of this apartment, to stay away from Landon. She wants another chance to make things right between them. I wish I knew what is was that tied them together so tightly. What is it that's hanging between them, left untouched and unhealed, open and bleeding out?

Am I going to be strong enough to put pressure on that wound and find the strength to stitch it up?

That depends on what it is that they share. I know there's a reason he isn't ready to let her stand on her own, I just don't have a clue what the hell it is. It's not fair for me to demand to hear it when I'm not ready to share my past with him.

Why would the universe allow this to happen?

Why would she allow two people who are clearly still stuck in the limbo of our last relationships to become so attached to each other?

I don't know why I let this mess continue anyway, I should have left it as flirty, friend of a friend relationship, but I let it go further. Mostly because he became an itch I couldn't scratch and partly because I just couldn't keep my distance. My thoughts of him quickly became unmanageable and uncontrollable, much like his mouth on my breasts right now.

I hold the back of his neck, guiding his mouth to be greedy.

This probably isn't the best time to think about all this, but this is the only time I have. I made a promise to Dakota that I had every intention of breaking, but the pinch of guilt is still there. She isn't that bad when she's not threatening to run her mouth about my life or kicking me out of the apartment that was just as much mine as hers. She can be funny, and even fun to be around. The first time I met her, she asked me to go dancing with her. I had just unpacked my boxes and wanted to get to know my new roommates, Maggy and Dakota.

Dakota got dolled up, in a tight red dress and sparkly black shoes. She had her curly hair straightened out down her shoulders. She looked smoking hot and ready to take on the world. She told me she had just gone through a break-up and needed to clear her head. I suggested she dance with Aiden, the tall blond from her dance academy. If I had known what kind of breakup she had "suffered" through, I would have never suggested that. I wouldn't have pushed her toward him I knew what she had at home.

I was used to the typical breakups, my friend's boyfriends cheating on them, or breaking up because they need to focus on their career. Those are the kind of breakups I'm used to being soothed by a night out with the girls.

If I had known that half of her breakup was made up of Landon, I wouldn't have said that. Back then, he was nothing more than a tiny picture cutout from a high school prom picture. He was this college freshman living across the country. It wasn't until I hung out with Tessa the first time in New York that I put it all together.

I had already started paying attention to him, we had already had our little moment in his bathroom. She acts as if I purposely sought him out to prey on him just to hurt her. I'm not that evil. I could have pulled back from him when I realized that Tessa's perfect roommate, the epitome of everything I have wanted in a man wrapped into one, was also my roommate's ex boyfriend.