Forever Yours (Nick and Wilson's Story)

Chapter Seven

CHAPTER SEVEN

            Every word I read clawed itself in my chest and imprint on my heart. Two days later and I couldn't stop reading it and...I was confused and numb. At first I was angry. Then I felt sad and sorry. I still felt sad and sorry. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt Nick and that was exactly what I ended up doing. Pop was right. For the first time in a very long time I remembered heartache.

I lost count of how many times I read the letter. I was halfway through reading it again when there was a soft knock on my bedroom door. I thought about ignoring it but talking to someone would do me a world of good.

"Come in," I said. Peyton. No matter how awful I felt Peyton was...I had no words. She closed the door behind her and crawled unto my bed. I opened my arms and welcomed her. She cuddled up to my side and I felt a sudden onslaught of guilt. Sometimes I felt like I abandoned her and I wasn't there enough.

"We just went to see Nick. He looked miserable," she said. She pursed her lips as she looked up at me. "Almost as miserable as you."

"Thanks," I said sarcastically. She smirked. "How's he doing?"

"Why don't you go find out for yourself?"

"How's violin?"

And she was so great. She just allowed me to change the subject, something that didn't usually fly with her.

"Great, daddy's taking me to the studio to work on a beat for a producer. He heard me playing for grandpa."

"Look at you, superstar!" I gushed. "You excited?"

"And nervous. I don't want to mess up."

"You won't. Do your best and it'll be enough."

"Peyton!" Dad called.

"Shit! I'm late. See you later! Hope you and Nick fix things!" She yelled as she ran out of my room.

Peyton left my door open and soon after there was another knock. Looking up from my lying position, I saw that it was his Pop. "What's up?" I asked.

"It's just you and me."

"Where are Savannah and Nastya?" I was curious.

I liked that Sav had someone she felt comfortable with and someone that loved her almost as much as I did. She looked out for Sav physically, emotionally, and health wise. Nastya was a little too adventurous and that worried me sometimes even though she had a good head on her body.

"They went shopping. Savannah needed clothes that actually fit her so..."

"That's progress," I said absently.

"Take out and beer?"

I laughed. "Seriously? You hate takeout and you're offering me beer without me begging for it?"

Pop shrugged. "I hate takeout but you like it. I can make the sacrifice and I'd rather you drink here than somewhere else."

"You know I'm not drinking anywhere else."

"Yes, and I'm thankful everyday that God blessed me with a boring son," he said seriously. "You wanna have takeout and beer with your old man or not?"

Laughing, I answered, "If you're gonna act like a child then fine."

"Good, 'cause I ordered already."

Pop cut me off after one beer and I actually begged for another one. I used the fact that I was going to be twenty-one in the next couple of weeks as a bargaining chip and I got another one.

"Nick wrote me this," I said softly halfway through my third beer, reaching into my sweatpants pocket to hand the piece of paper to him. He read it multiple times, I could tell.

"So," Pop said. He exhaled deeply. "You haven't been to see him. Is that you giving him what he asked for?"

"You were right," I said instead of answering. "Safest doesn't mean painless."

"And just because it hurts that doesn't mean it's broken."

"What would you do?" I asked.

Pop took his time to answer me. "I would give him all of me, not just the parts I wanted him to see."

"And what if he hates those other parts of me?"

"Then he doesn't really love you like he writes. You can't love parts of someone...the parts you like. Either you do or you don't. Loving is accepting and you can only truly love someone if you accept them fully."

Reading the letter one last time, Pop folded it back as it was and gave it back to me. We sat in comfortable silence for a while, watching the movie, eating Chinese drinking beer...well I wasn't allowed anymore.

"I know what I'm going to do," I said after a while. "But first I need to get over this stage I'm in."

"What stage?"

"The I-Can't-Believe-You-Told-Me-To-Stay-Away-From-You-In-A-Damn-Letter stage."

Pop laughed. "Yeah," he tsked. "So what are you gonna do?"

I purposely and annoyingly slurped a mouthful of noodles, laughing at his Pop's disgusted face before I said, "I'm going to give him all of me."