Saving Me, From Me (Bucky Barnes)

Chapter 22

Maddie's POV

Two Months Later

I walked into Lucas' apartment and walked over to the living room as that was were he said he was. I came over because he said he needed to talk to me. I walked over to the sofa were I could see his tense figure. Hey babe." I said and placed a gentle kiss to his lips. "Hey, how was the mission?" He asked as I sat next to him. "It was good. Buck and I managed to save the hostages and take down the Hydra base." I told him. "Was it just you and Bucky?" He asked as he stood up. "Yeah, is that a problem?" I asked as stood next to him. "You just spend a lot of time with him and you used to date and all. So, never mind." He stated and looked away from me. "Yeah ok I do spend a lot of time with Buck because he is helping me deal with certain stuff. And he's my new mission partner." I said and could feel the energy build up in me so I moved away from him. "What is he helping you with. I'm the one in a relationship with you. I should be helping you." He said and stepped to me. "Somethings I don't have to tell you. Ok. Somethings I don't want to tell you." I stated and went to move but he grabbed my wrists. "Maddie, I can help you." He said. "Really, can you save me from myself because that is what Bucky is TRYING to do. But guess what it isn't working great. Even now when I'm happy, I still feel like I have to do it. But I don't because I want to be ok. Can you help me? Really." I yelled and pulled up my sleeves so he could see the scars. They should have faded by now but I did it after a group mission went wrong and Nat got hurt, I blamed myself but it wasn't myself. That was a month ago. And now Bucky is back to helping me and has told me that I should have told Lucas by now but I was only just doing.

"Maddie, you self harm. Why haven't you told me. I could have gotten you help." He said and pulled me in for a hug. "That's why, Bucky is doing a good job helping me. And I didn't want your pity. You may be my boyfriend but let Bucky help me with this." I said and pulled out of the hug. "If you want Bucky so much why don't you go with him. I mean I'm leaving anyway." He said but frowned once he realised what he had just said. "What?  You're leaving. Is it because of me?" I asked and felt the tears. "No. Charles says I have to go back to the school. I stayed because of you. The day we met was meant to be my last day." He said and wiped my tears. "Charles? You're part of the X-Men." I said. "Yeah I was here for a mission but I fell of you. But he says I need to go back if I want to be part of the team. Why don't you come with me?" He asked with a hopeful glint in his purple eyes. "I can't." I whispered all the pain of the loss of my parents flooding back. "Why? I'm sure the Avengers would understand. Is it Bucky? Do you not want to leave him?" Lucas asked. "No. I can't go back to the school. I can't join the X-Men because my parents died because of that team. They went on a mission and were killed. Everywhere in the mansion reminds me of them." I said and he nodded his head. "I guess this is goodbye then." He said and pulled me in for a hug. "Please don't leave. Join the Avengers. Please. Too many people have left me. Please." I whispered. "I'm so sorry Maddie. But I have to. You will always have a place in my heart and maybe our paths will cross again." He said and pulled out of the hug.

I didn't respond to him, I just ran out the door and walked back to the tower. The tears running down my face making it hard to see but I managed to get back in one piece I stepped in the tower and went to the lift and pressed the button to the living room. But  when they tried to talk to me I just ignored them and ran to the balcony. I let the cold winter air wrap around my body and I watched the sky. It was starting to get dark and much colder, I was only wearing a long sleeve t-shirt, when I heard the door slide open. And soon a familiar jacket was drapped around my shoulders and they sat down next to me. I buried my head in their chest as my body shook with the sobs that escaped my mouth and the tears that ran down my cheeks.