Allegiance | Kylo Ren

LXXXVII

Neither of us slept well that night. Instead, we lay in silent darkness, my head on his chest and the sound of his heartbeat pounding in my ear. The day ahead held a challenge that I wasn't sure I was ready for, and as much as I was stressing about it, I could tell that Ben was even more anxious.

I had barely closed my eyes when a single knock on the door indicated that it was time to get up and get ready. We sat up slowly, exchanging a nervous glance. I knew that the exhaustion in Ben's eyes was mirrored in my own. I threaded my fingers through his, sighing heavily.

"It's going to be okay." My whispered words seemed to echo through the silent room. They were left hanging in the air as we quietly dressed and prepared for the day. I pulled my hair back into a single braid, wearing the base layer clothing I had been wearing the day we escaped the First Order, convinced that I would never return.

And now I was going back.

I held Ben's hand tightly as we made our way to the tarmac. The sun had not yet risen; the stars still twinkled gently overhead as I caught sight of Poe waiting near a medium-sized ship. On the side of the ship were two small compartments with windows—I assumed those were the delivery pods that we had discussed before.

Poe greeted me with a silent nod, looking on edge. In fact, the entire tarmac was filled with people, yet was still quiet—the magnitude of this mission was weighing down on everyone, choking us into silence.

"It's time to go." Poe's quietly spoken words seemed loud in the absence of noise.

I nodded, pressing my lips together and turning to Ben. He pulled me in for a tight hug, burying his face in the crook of my neck.

"You have to come back safely." His words sounded as if they had caught in his throat. "Please."

I pressed my hand to his cheek, and he leaned into it slightly. "I will, I promise. Besides, I have a new reason to now."

He gave me a teary smile before pressing a forceful kiss to my lips. "I love you."

"I love you." I whispered, taking one last glance at his face before turning and climbing onto the ship. It struck me that this was the first time I had said the words aloud to Ben, and it was very possible that it could be the last. I shook my head to clear the thought, throwing one last look over my shoulder.

I caught a glimpse of Poe and Ben exchanging a meaningful nod as I boarded. They were entirely different people, but right now, today, they had a common goal. That thought was somehow encouraging as I settled into the copilot's seat. Poe joined me a moment later, flipping a switch and igniting the engines.

We flew in silence. I stared out of the window at the passing stars, focusing on steadying my breathing. Poe looked as if he wanted to say something, but he refrained from doing so. He only broke the silence when we had neared the planet of the base.

"You should probably go load up the delivery pod."

I cast him a nervous look, swallowing shakily and nodding. I stood slowly, turning to climb through the back of the plane to the pod.

"Callie." The pilot caught my wrist as I passed. I turned and stared at him, my heart in my throat. He handed me my earpiece and offered me a half-smile. "You've got this."

I gave him another curt nod, not trusting myself to speak. I pulled out of his grasp and climbed into the pod, sealing the door behind me and buckling the seat belt. I closed my eyes tightly as I waited, pressing my earpiece into my ear.

"Alright." Poe's voice crackled through the transmitter. "We've got about a minute before I drop you off, so brace yourself. It might be a bit bumpy. Hang in there."

I exhaled slowly, my heart feeling as if it were about to explode out of my chest. All too soon, I heard the sound of the gears releasing the pod, and then I was falling through the air. I gritted my teeth as I fell, the pod beginning to spiral in its descent. I forced myself to keep my eyes open so I could brace myself for landing. It seemed to be an eternity before I spotted the roof below me. The parachute on the pod released, sending me jerking forward as the resistance kicked in. I landed heavily on the roof, but emerged from the pod shaking yet unscathed. I sent up a silent thanks to Poe, grateful for his unmatched pilot skills.

The door of the pod opened with a hiss, and I crawled out, my legs shaking uncontrollably. I remained on all fours for a moment, feeling as if I was about to vomit. When the feeling finally passed, I dared to stand.

"Callie, you there?" Poe's voice rang in my ear.

"Yeah, I'm here." I muttered. "Just landed."

"Good to hear. Now go get some armor."

I drew in an uneven breath, focusing on the task at hand. With shaky hands, I pulled open the familiar door and descended the stairs back into the one place I never thought I'd return to.