cigarettes • joshler

Introduction Pt 2

"im tyler."

"i-.." he took a much needed
deep breath. "im ty- er.. josh.." his face turned the same color as his hair.

"did he do anything to you?"

"he-" he was silent for a while. he stuttered. "he tried to rape me." his voice was audibly shaky. i winced. that mustve been terrible.

"oh- i-.. " i paused. i looked at his expression. he looked worried. "lets go."

the school was closed by now. it was 7:00. why this poor guy was at the school at 7:00 pm, i had no idea. i had extended detention. from 3:15 to 7:00. still wasnt gonna help my shitty behavior.

it was a hell of a long walk from the ally to the lot where i parked my old chevy. on the walk there, it was completely silent.

"you okay? you need a-" reality caught up to me slightly. i wasnt okay either. i was so worried about this guy i met like 3 minutes ago that i forgot about the gushing blood being soaked up by
the gauze on my arm. i hated myself. i was ready to go home and collapse into  a bottle of vodka and two packs of cigarettes.

i would go home and my dad still wouldnt be there. he would still be buried ten minutes away at the cemetery. my mom would still hate me. my siblings would still be sick of me.
i would still hate myself as much as them.

"a.. ride...?" i realized i was mid-sentence. he was seemed impatient. my face turned a light pink color. i had to cough to regain my heterosexual manliness.
"um- i don-"
"well im gonna take you home anyways."
"oka.. i live at 2327 south main street." he blushed slightly. he remained quiet. we both climbed into my car. the radio came on instantly, playing cancer at full volume. i jumped and panicked, slamming my hand on the knob and lowering the volume.

"im so sor-"

"you like mcr..?" he asked me softly.

"uh.. yeah..." i blushed, coughing slightly.

"cool.. u- me too.." he said quietly. a small smile stretched out on my face.

i turned up the volume up slightly and pulled out of the parking lot. he directed me to his house. we stopped at this two story blue house with a silver fence around the back yard. i saw a cat sitting om the front porch and a small dog in the backyard. i parked in front of it.

"im just gonna assume this is your house:" i said quietly.

"yea.." he said softly. by the time we reached his house, we had gone through all of the black parade and two songs into three cheers for sweet revenge. this boy with red hair, this sweet, quiet, calm boy made me feel. feel... free?? i hadnt felt this way before. it was weird.

"bye.." he said. he creaked the door to my car open and walked into his house.

"bye." i said quietly to myself. i turned the steering wheel and pulled out of his driveway. i drove to my house. my house was this one story brick building. we didnt have pets. we had a small backyard, full of tall trees. i always wanted a dog.

i walked into the house. i inhaled. it smelled like home. it smelled vaguely like cigarettes, only from my room. alcohol filled the air. not only did i start drinking, my mom did as well.

"im.. im home." i said. my mother was in the kitchen.

"why are you home two hours late?" she yelled. she sounded angry. she'd been drinking. i could smell it. i could detect it in her voice.

"i had detention."

"failure." i heard her mutter.
i grew slightly angry.

haha. everyone hates you.

fuck off.

well its true.

leave me alone.

good luck.

i walked to my room and closed the door. i sat down on my bed and put my head in my hands. i broke down. i couldnt stop crying. i kept thinking about those last minutes i had with my dad.

"im leaving for work." he called out. i was in the kitchen.
"have a good day at the church, dad." i said to him. he smiled.
"be careful." he told me. he was always smiling. making everyone happy on the way out. everyone was sitting on the sofa. he repeated the same routine, as always. he gave everyone a kiss and slammed the door on his way out.

on his way out, he got into his car.

when he got into his car, he drove to town.

when he drove to town, he got hit.
killing him instantly.