Friends w/ Benefits

Monster in law(full)

"Oh, so he cheated on you." He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world."The fool. It's hard to believe he found someone better than you. You're one of the sexiest women I've had the pleasure of dining with."

"No. He's not much of a pig or stupid. Plus, he swore up and down I was his soulmate back then. Also, you flatter me." I rolled my eyes at the end. He ignored it.

"Then what changed?" He asked puzzled.

"Stop inturrupting me and you'll find out." I scolded. "Every thing was going good. I ordered my dress, booked the venue, made floral arrangments and hired the caterer. Havoc's mother seemed defeated. The frown on her face put a smile on mine. Everything was perfect. It was the day before my wedding and Havoc and I had went our separate ways. I had finished the bachorlette party and gotten to our apartment; Havoc was staying at his parents because it was bad luck to see your bride before the wedding. I was nervous, but Iforced my self to sleep. I need beauty sleep after the crazy bachelorette party.

"The next morning I woke up with 20 missed called from Havoc. I checked the voice mails he left and the all said to call him or he needs to talk to me as soon as i heard the message. I thought he was trying to be cute because he missed me and couldn't wait untill the wedding to talk to me.

"I wanted to make him squirm a little, so i decided to turn off my phone and make him wait untill the wedding like tridition dictated. BIG mistake." I stressed. " I got into my very expensive, drop-dead gourgouse, off-white, fitted wedding dress. Then, I went to get my 100 dollar hair do and 500 dollar make-up done. When i walked into the the sinogog everything was perfect. Whole white roses drenched the isle way. The low lighting was romantic. The guest looked happy but Havoc wasn't at the alter. My wedding planner was in a panic when her eyes locked mine. I just figured he was late becuae he over slept. He sleeps like a rock and some of the voice mails he left were pretty late. I went up to the alter and waited for him.

"After 40 painfully slow minutes, my guests looked distressed. I took out my cell phone and called him but it went stright to voice mail. The color drained from my face that moment. If you want to see it, the camra guy caught everything on tape."

"Are you joking?" He questioned as if not sure if he was suppose to laughed.

"Nope. I have 20 copies of the video at home. When they were finished with it and the camra guy called me to pick it up, i thought he was joking too. But, apparently not; I had paid for the tapes ahead of time for friends and family.Want to watch them with me?"I joked

"Harsh."

"Tell me about it. Do you have vodka?" I asked.

"I'm assuming you're being sarcastic. I'm Russian. Of course I have vodka."

But, i wasn't."Fill a cup of your finest patatoe water."(a/n: vodka is made from potatoes)

"So what did you do after he didn't pick up?" Zar wondered.

"Other than wishing I would have returned his call and playing out the possible out comes if I had? Well, I announced that there wouldn't be a wedding with a smile on my face. I told everyone that there would still be a reception because everything was non-refundable at that point; but, everyone refused. I shoved a fork in to my 2 thousand dollar, 8 terr, fondant laced, mocha cake then shoved a enormous piece in my mouth while hysterically crying. Havoc's cousin Sandra stayed after the other guests left and saw my break-down. She managed to calm me down after she wrestled away the fork I was stabbing the groom on the cake with. After that, I ordered the caterers to take all the food the various homeless shelters."

"That was kind of you."

"Eh. My miresry might as well have of benefited someone. Plus, I eat like a pig when I'm sad. I would of binged all that food in a few days. "

"So you ever figure out why he ditched you, piggy?"

"Oh, yeah. Sandra noticed Havoc's parents weren't at the ceremony, so she gave me his fathers number. When I called, he told me that the three of them where still at the hospital and gave me the adress and room number. I was out of my mind with worry but I was glad he didn't just ditch me. Oh my drive to the hospital I thought of every possible thing that could have gone wrong: car accedents, fires, alchohol poinsing from the batchlor party. In my panic, I forgot to ask what actually happened. I was still in my wedding dress. I didn't have time to take it off. I was too worried.

"When I got to the room, it wasn't the ex-love of my life in the bed. Noooo. That would have made my life easier. Instead of havoc, it was the Bitch that has been plotting to ruin my wedding from day one. At first, I was generally worried about her; my second big mistake of the day. I asked Havoc what was wrong. He told me that he found her passed out on the floor and the doctors had to pump her stomach after she over-dosed on every pill in her medicine cabinetry. At that point I was furious. I started yelling at her. Havoc pulled me out of the room and told me to stop yelling at his mother."

"I stopped my fit and asked him if he loved me. He said'yes'. I said 'fine." Then, i told him I would forgive everything that happened in the past few hours if he left the hospital and went to city hall so we could register out marriage. He said we would have to postpone our marriage until his mother was better. At that point I took off my engagement ring, dropped it on the floor and left. I went on our honeymoon alone. When I came home to our apartment, I found all his stuff gone. His dad would show up every month with Havoc's half of the rent. I really liked his father. One day he told me he filed for divorce and knew the news would make me happy. He couldn't stand the bitter women anymore either. Oh happy day. The end"

"At least is sort of a happy ending." Zar commented.

"Yeah. It makes me break into fits of happiness every time I think about it. Especially when I had to make monthly installments of the wedding that didn't happen."