Dear Diary,
I'm sorry for not talking to you lately. It's just that I found a new best friend. He's always there for me. Always there when I'm happy. Always there when I'm sad. Always there when I'm trying to concentrate on something. Always there when I'm enjoying the moments of my life. Always with me when someone is bullying me. Always there when I'm bored. Always there when I'm entertained. Always there when I'm having fun with my other friends, T-rexy and Goatee. But I'm not here to brag about my best friend and I won't get too personal since he's sitting right next to me reading everything I'm writing. Creepy but a good lad, he is.
Never knew I would be standing here, between life and death. Where one thing gives me reasons to live and the very next moment, I feel like death is the only option left but hey, I'm fighting. Fighting against everyone, and as they say in math, a set of everything includes itself as well. Don't worry, I won't bore you anymore. So where was I? Yeah, between life and death. Have you every experienced this? How could you have, you're just a diary. But my best friend says that he has seen people going through this before, some get over it and some don't. He loves mocking the ones who don't so I'm just trying to avoid getting mocked. Creepy but a good lad, he is.
Coming back to the topic, Dear Diary, why is not knowing proper English such a big deal? I mean, yes, I know that it's the lingua franca and oh-so-important but why make such a huge deal out of it? You know when I was moving to USA, I thought that I was moving to a place with open minded people but NOOOO, that wasn't the case. I was moving from one hell to another. Ran away from one problem just to get into a greater one. Back in Pakistan, I was bullied a lot because I wasn't as tall as those bullies were or as huge as they were. You know that already. I told you. Wasn't that unfair? Hurting me just because I'm short. Then we shifted to America and I was going to leave my best friend behind but see, our friendship is stronger than Titanium. He came with me. Creepy but a good lad, he is.
You know I was always bad at speaking English. I am good at it when it comes to writing but speaking is hard. Proper tenses just don't come to you. How am I supposed to get them correct without taking my time? Don't pressurize me bullies, give me time and I'll get better. But they never listen to me. Maybe because I'm not good at speaking. I thought that the next time someone tries to bully me, I'll ask them to stop and shout at them but see that's the problem, I don't know how to speak their language. I can't ask them to stop in Urdu, BAS KARO. I can't because they won't understand. I can't even communicate with my headmaster and ask him to make them stop. I emailed him but he never responded. My best friend told me that this is how it works here in this school. You have to talk to someone, you have to speak English. See, I only have two friends, but my best friend, he has so many friends inside and outside of school. I wonder why he's friends with me and how he manages to give everyone time. Creepy but a good lad, he is.
Dear Diary, why is speaking English so important? Why is the power of communication so important? Why can't it just leave me alone? English is a global language, I get it. It is used for trading and communication in the whole world. Every university requires a SAT test and half of it is in English. Every test has questions written in English. Most universities ask for TOEFL or IELTS and both of them are English Proficiency tests. Your college essay is supposed to be in English. Your interview is conducted in English Language. So I can't get into a university if I don't know proper English or lag in it? My best friend says that this is how things work here and I'll have to deal with it no matter how hard it is. Creepy but a good lad, he is.
Two billion people communicate in English. You want to enter a global workforce? You have to know English. World's best films and books are written in English. 50% of the internet is in English. Am I supposed to learn a language just because I'll get a few more opportunities? You know what, I don't want those opportunities. I'm fine just the way I am. I like myself and I know you like me too. I have a likeable personality, I know that. That's what my best friend said to me and that is why he stuck with me for this long. But why can't bullies understand this? Why can't they leave me alone? Why can't they accept me just the way I am? I can't speak proper English, why am I being punished because of that? Why do they paste papers on my back? Why do they ruin my desk? How do they always manage to get me in trouble for what I never did in the first place? Why go all through this effort just to mock me? What do they get out of it? Why don't they just kill me? Every time they hurt me, my best friend just stands there looking at me plead for mercy and never takes action. But our friendship grows stronger every time they hurt me. Creepy but a good lad, he is.
All this time bragging about my best friend, pardon me, for I forgot to mention his name.
His name is pain.
Bye.
