Tattoo || Joshler

Message Man

*Chapter 7*

It had been a week since the little, 'make out sesh' between Josh and I, and neither of us had spoken about it.

It hadn't gotten awkward between us, and we didn't exactly become a couple.

It all confused me, and no doubt Josh too, and I wanted to be something more with Josh, but I wasn't sure if anything was gonna happen.

I was walking back to the dorm, meeting up with Josh half way while coming back from our classes.

Even though we both major in music, just like high school, we have to choose another core subject to major in.

While Josh chose science, I got literature.

I needed good English to write songs, did I not.

"Hey, Tyler..." Josh started. I could hear the nervousness in Josh's voice.

"Yo. How was class?" I asked, trying to make it not so awkward between us.

I hated the atmosphere that was surrounding us. I wanted the happy fun times back.

"I mean, it's science. We did a couple experiments but nothing too special. How was your class?" He replied, trying to sound as confident as he could.

Just like on the first day.

"Yea it was cool I guess. We watched a couple clips about proper language and shit. Nothing too fancy." I responded, shrugging my shoulders while taking the key to the dorm out of my pocket.

As I opened the door, I held it open for Josh to enter first, noticing the small pink tint on his cheeks, which made me smirk.

As I set my bag down, Josh was the one to start up conversation.

"So uh, about what happened last week," Josh started, dropping his own bag and sitting on the side of his bed, taking a deep breathe. "Where do we stand?"

"Uh I-I don't know... What do you think?" I responded, trying not to become too awkward once again.

"I don't know what to think. Are- are we a- a thing?" Josh asked once again, stuttering on a few words.

At this, I felt a warmth cover my body, blood rushing to my cheeks, and judging from the grin I got from Josh, I knew I was blushing.

"I mean, I-if you want to be..." I stuttered out, wondering where this would actually go.

Josh stood up and walked over to me, putting his hands on my shoulders.

He came closer so there was less than an inch between us, before Josh moved his hands to my cheeks, leaning closer before whispering in my ear.

"Let's see where life takes us, bean." I didn't have time to reply before Josh closed the space between us, landing his lips on mine.

I wrapped my arms around Josh's neck, moving into the kiss to deepen it.

Josh released, looking at me for a few moments before speaking up.

"Tyler?" He asked, voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes, Josh?" I replied in an almost dreamily state.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" Josh asked, a nervous smile covering his features.

I looked at him, staring deeply into his deep hazel eyes, heat rising to my cheeks once again.

I looked down, smiling like an idiot before resting my head on Josh's chest.

"Yes Josh. I will be your boyfriend." I replied, looking back up with a smile and a chuckle.

Josh smiled bigger than before, before connecting his lips to mine once again.

We sat like that for a few minutes, just slowly making out before Josh's stomach growled, breaking us apart with a laugh.

He pecked my lips once more before walking off to make us both some food.

"I love you..." I whispered to myself.

Before I knew what had happened, a voice with a deep tone echoed around in my head, spilling hateful things into my mind.

Saying awful things to poison my thoughts.

The voice. It was back.

I went and lied down in my bed, sighing loudly before screaming, so Josh couldn't hear, into my pillow.

He could never love you Tyler. The voice whispered into my ear. "I know." I whimpered silently, talking to myself.

You're pathetic. Can't even keep him safe. He spat at me. "I know. I'm useless." I sobbed, tears threatening to break past the surface.

The voice smiled. I could hear it. It spewed more awful things at me, all to which I agreed.

I was useless. I was pathetic. I was a hopeless cause.

I was nothing.

I knew I couldn't get rid of blurryface, the voice, but the more I thought about it, the more it seemed that Josh got rid of the voice.

At least for a while. Whenever Josh was around, blurry wasn't.

Maybe Josh could help me overcome it.

I smiled a tiny bit. What are you thinking Tyler. Josh just wants to build you up just to knock you right back down again. Can't you see? You're nothing to him. He taunted to me.

He was right. How could I be so foolish. "You- you're right. No one could ever love me. Especially not Josh." I whimpered, tears flowing down my cheeks.

I layed down in bed, turning so my back was to the door so if Josh came in he couldn't see me.

Why would he even come in though? To check on me? I mean nothing to him! He just wants to hurt me.

I sighed, letting the tears flow down my face while sobbing quietly into my pillow. You always know what's right Tyler. And you know now that Josh isn't. He just wants to watch you suffer. You might as well end it all before he gets the chance to do it for you!

I had had enough of listening to the voice. I reached over and grabbed a couple sleeping pills from the bottle on my nightstand before swallowing them dry, hoping they would help me sleep.

Not today, blurryface.

Not. Today.

*yo! How is everyone? I changed up a bit in this chapter but also added Tyler's point of view! Hope you enjoyed.

•safe place to rant and talk•

~XOjay
[Edited: 1 July, 2017]