Salient Affections (Unedited Draft)

8: Pillow Fight

"It ain't about
how hard you hit,
it's about
how hard you can get hit
and
keep moving forward"
-Rocky Balboa
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Words used : 2148

~HUMAIRA'S P.O.V~

I wanted to shout, scream, cry. Just somehow get rid of this pent up feeling inside me, feeling so helpless in your life and not being able to understand it is the biggest uncertainty anyone would ever want.

What do I actually want?

I had no idea about it.

Nida di comes and sits beside me. Her eyes held a whirlpool of thousands of emotions but I was able to understand none feeling lost at totality in myself.

"Humaira, I promise we'll come to visit you all soon and we can talk on skype as well! " she said in a detached tone. I had the urge to ask her if Ayaz would also do that.

Why? Why Ayaz?

Ignoring my thoughts... I nodded and she hugged me and then went to Naila, Saira, Maira giving each of them a hug, a few words of consolation. I was crying, I had no idea why... not because Nida di was leaving, no It didn't feel like I was crying for her. We weren't even that close, she had been in Delhi, studying in a university and we barely met.

Why would I cry for her?

The boys were hugging Ayaz, patting his back saying goodbyes and take cares.

Daringly say, I yearned a hug from him...

Will he hug me and leave as well? Please? !!?? Why hug me?

Nida di went out followed by Ayaz.

He's not... No! no! don't leave...

"Stooaap! "It came out of my mouth unintentionally. Nida di and Ayaz turned while others looked confused.

" What happened, does it hurt more? "Ayaz asks concerned, mistaking it to be the pain in my ankle but no it wasn't my ankle, it was my heart tearing itself as if somehow it would escape out me.

Don't leave. Don't go. Please...
I don't know why!!?? but don't go... My insides were screaming.

" Humaira we'll be fine if your worried or is it something else? "Nida di asks in a stern voice. She never cried in front of anyone and I guess she was trying to keep her emotions in check.

But tears keep flowing from my eyes like an endless river. What's happening? Why is it getting so difficult if they are leaving?

Humi is stronger...be stronger... I chanted in my mind.

" Humaira? "Ayaz calls again.

He shouldn't leave... He shouldn't have to leave...we could all stay here... Not so far away... He... Shouldn't leave...!!!

" I'm sorry, its nothing .. You... You can le... Leave" I say forcing the words out of my mouth, it felt like I swallowed a bar of bitter soap.

It's gonna be alright... Everything's alright... I'm just overwhelmed... Just overwhelmed...

"Bye," Nida di says waving us.

I felt like screaming. The farther they went the harder it became, they seemed to be pulling strings of my heart along with them.

Why is it getting so difficult?

"Humaira, come on we will all go inside " Saira says, I notice how her cheeks which were wet as well, it somehow made me feel a little better.