ENDOHUMAN: Book 1 - Love Vs Duty (Completed)

Chapter 28: Human

SStrangely, the lake is calm, despite the falling rain that is growing stronger by the second.

Still, I do not care. I find it soothing to stand on the bank and stare into the dark waters of Sealoch.

Even though I have been released from the Pallford Psychiatric Ward, and am due to return to school in a few days to complete the final three weeks of the academic year, I still feel trapped, imprisoned. Cheated. Cheated out of my childhood. Out of my life.

A hand touches my shoulder.

"You should come inside. There is someone here to see you."

I stop staring into the lake and turn to face Orfa Itid, the woman who has changed my life. She has been polite and caring from the second she saved me, yet I cannot bring myself to call her "Mother."

I am not ready for that. And I think she is not ready for it either. I think she is too overwhelmed to call me son, or maybe, like me, she is unable to express her emotions openly. Perhaps because she has waited for this for so much of her life. Perhaps because she committed all her emotions and efforts to finding me, and has none left to give. Now that she has found me, maybe she has lost that sense of purpose. I can see it in her eyes. She secretly studies me every day when she brings my dinner to her Sealoch vacation cabin. She is allowing me to stay here until I decide where I want to go, or live.

Dr. Dolos has not allowed me to see or speak to anyone other than himself and my mother. That is good. I don't want to see anyone either. I don't have the courage for that. But I do know I don't want to live in Pallford; it feels alien to me. And Seaford...Seaford was a lie.

A tower of fake, drug-induced memories and fairytales installed by a mad man. A fake paper tower that had just come tumbling down on my soul. Crushing everything. Leaving only nightmares.

"Tell him I don't want a session tonight."

She looks at me with that deep, scrutinizing look again, as if she is trying to understand me, and failing. "Adam. You are being too hard on yourself. I know what it means to be lost in a purpose. To forget about living and be blinded in a lost pursuit of imaginary happiness and fulfilment. I was lucky I found you. My purpose in life has been fulfilled and I am so happy for that. But what life will that be if you do not love yourself. You cannot stay frozen forever. The poison of that dreadful old man cannot prevail over your true nature. Give in to your emotions son. Let the walls crumble and let me in. Let us all in." She pauses for a second studying me to see if I understood what she said before continuing. "I found this when I went by your school for your re-registration."

She hands me a piece of paper. I take it hesitantly, almost knowing what to expect. As I read the announcement, I feel a weak, fluttery sensation invade my stomach.

"It's okay, Orfa. I'll speak to Adam outside," Dr. Dolos intervenes as he appears from the path and stands next to my mother. She nods and starts making her way back to the cabin .

"Maybe you didn't eavesdrop well enough doctor. I said I don't need a session today."

"Yes. Well maybe you just need a friend then. Feeling better?" he asks ignoring my will.

"Confused. I cannot find the answers. Just more questions."

"That is normal, Adam. You've been through a lot. Maybe you are not ready for this." The doctor is holding a thick file. "This is the result of the Pallford investigation, and the court decision on the Howler."

"And?"

"You sure you want to know?"

"Tell me."