"She's awake Justin!!" Ninas loud voice startled me but I booked it to her room with Layla in my arms non the less
I had Layla stay with Nina outside of the room for a minute upon request of Kenzie
I walked in to see Kenzie very pale she slowly moved her head to look at me a smile growing on her face
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"Baby" I croaked sitting next to her grasping her hand
She shook her head and motioned me to slip in the bed next to her while scooting over slowly
Lying there holding the only woman Ive really ever loved it made me want to break down
"Jay" she said softly placing her hand on my cheek making me look at her directly
I bit my bottom lip holding back tears knowing I wasn't going to like what she had to say next
"I'm sorry baby, I'm so so sorry" she said her voice strained
I closed my eyes and rested my head in the crook of her neck
"I'm sorry your going to have to raise our daughter without me" her voice cracked
Layla was truly her weakness I believe that Kenzie loves me but the love she has for Layla is just different nothing will top the love a mother has for her child
She ran her fingers through my hair soothingly
"Don't ever let her forget how much I loved her"
"Never" I whispered into her neck
"You'll be okay, you hear me?" She said making our eyes connect
I panned over her face over and over again wanting to remember every detail
I nodded
Kenzie picked up the paddle with a nurse button and a speaker in it she pushed it
"Yes how may I help you Mrs.Bieber" a nurse chirped through the speaker
"Can you please send in my daughter"
"Yes of course"
Moments later Layla walked in and stood there tears brimming
"C'mere baby" Kenzie said softly patting the spot next to her
Layla crawled in next to her clutching on to her tightly Kenzie soothingly rubbing up and down her back
"You and daddy are going to be just fine" she said
She reached behind her head and I clipped her necklace that's she's worn since I've met her she rarely ever have taken it off
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She clipped it around Layla's neck and began to speak
"Your grandpa gave me this when I was your age, when you look at it I want you to remember how much I love you and even if things get scary to be brave like I know you are"
Layla nodded tears slipping down her face
"I love you mommy" she croaked snuggling deeper into Kenzie
"I love you more baby"
~~~End of flashback~~~
2 weeks later Kenzie passed away, although the tumor was removed they had found cancer that had spread to her kidneys and spine and a type that was non effective against chemo
I never thought at 30 years old I would be planning my wife's funeral, picking whether there should be red or pink peonies, deciding if her coffin should be black or white or if she should be cremated
I never thought I would have to tell my 8 year old daughter that she'll never see her mother again
Seeing your child in that much pain and try not cry wanting to be brave for her late mother was like a stab in the chest
Layla wakes up crying almost every night with panic attacks and refuses to sleep in her room
And that's currently what is happening right now she's crying into my chest clutching the necklace in her hand
Suddenly an idea popped into my head i went into Kenzie's closet everything in touched left just as she had left it, I grabbed her college hoodie that she wore all the time around the house and brought it out to Layla who was was still crying but softly now
I slipped it over her head and she stuck her arms through bring the sleeve up to her nose the comforting smell of her mother calming her I opened my arms for her to lay down she did as much and fell asleep almost instantly
For the first time in 2 weeks she's slept without waking up
But that didn't stop me from staying up all night wondering if we'd ever get through this
"You'll be okay, you hear me?" Kenzie's voice echoed in my head
