Save Me From My Self Destruction. (Frerard)

Chapter 21- The Night Time Lust Scene

The Night Time Lust Scene.-

My mind spinned around in circles. My thoughts were dispersed through-out the place. I knew it was the last day, it had to be.

Frank was losing hope, I could see the light and faith just dimming and exiting his eyes. He was tuning grey, in more ways than one, I knew he thought this was his last few days. He was going to die.

I took him in the middle of the woods, the exact spot I was when I got completely trashed. He sat next to me, taking small, slow breathes. I could tell he was trying to think of the appropriate way to do this. You know, the whole spiel you get when someone close to you is about die.

"Gerard, you know I like you so much, and I know I'm not going to be around much longer. I know a lot of people won't care when I die," I let him talk on, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Don't you ever think anything remotely close to that. You're so beautiful, you're not going to die. So shut up," I kissed him gently.

"Okay," he whispered, pulling apart to look in my eyes.

We just stared at each other in silence. He looked beautiful in this light, his face, his body, his soul. His silent thoughts were gorgeous. For someone who thought they were dying of a literal broken heart, he sure did manage to make my heart race and he sure did look perfect. There was and never will be anything wrong with Frank Iero.

The silence wasn't eerie or awkward, it was more welcomed. Like Frank and I were on the same level of thought, we understood each other so well that we could just sit in silence for hours. It was like we could read each other's thoughts. And at this moment, I knew he was upset or lost or something.

I took his hands in mine, knowing he thought that this was the end of him, end of us. But I knew it was not an end to Frank. I wouldn't let it be, and once everything is said and done, Frank will move on. There will always be a Frank, to me anyway.

The sun was starting to go down, another end to another day. I bit my lip, "are you scared?" I asked, he tore his eyes away from the night time stars to look me in the eyes. The moon's glow shined on his face, illuminating all of his wonderful features. "Of course." He whispered with no other explanation.

Honestly, I was scared too. I knew Frank wasn't going to die, I was making sure of that. But I was afraid of what may come after everything. I don't want Frank running in circles, I want Frank to move forward. I want to mend his broken heart.

The only noise was the sounds of the crickets and our slow breathing. I wanted him to keep talking, I wanted to hear his angelic voice as much as possible. I wanted him to laugh and smile, I didn't want to see him feel so lost and silent. I wanted to create sparks between us, not extinguish them with silence and misery. But doesn't misery kill us all.

"I haven't had a single cigarette since that day," I said, sighing. I haven't had anything. No drugs, no alcohol, I was clean. I was clean for Frank.

I wondered how differently my life would be without Frank. He was such a normal part in my life now, something that was so stable. I would constantly talk to him, think about him, make life changing decisions for him. What would happen if I had never had him in my life? I would probably have over dosed by now.

"I'm so glad you're getting better," he smiled to me, moving in closer to me, I wrapped my arm around him as it was getting a bit chilly as the day turned to night.

"Gerard," he whispered, his face so close to mine I could feel his breath on my cheeks.

I hummed in response, a small smile present on my lips. I took in his beauty as he looked so flustered on how to word what he wanted to say to me. "Just spit it out Franky," I laughed, watching a blush creep to his cheeks.

"I don't want to die a virgin."

And those were the words, they sent chills down my spine and my heart to my throat. I wasn't really processing what the words were and what they meant, not right away anyway. My mind was a blur and I had anxiety radiating through-out my whole body.

I swallowed hard, taking deep breaths to calm myself. Frank looked embarrassed and panicked, but it wasn't him, as cliche and stupid as it sounds, it was me. I have no absolute fucking idea how to process or show emotion properly.

"Neither do I," I whispered, pulling him as close as he could get to me.

And that's what happened, the emotion of lust was thick in the air and everything was moving at such a fast pace. I thought my heart was going to pound right out of my chest.

As beautiful as he looked clothed, he also looked beautiful as the kinky fucker he was naked.

After the deed was done, it nearing 11:00PM, we were pulling our clothes back on. I was standing up, pulling on my pair of boxers when a thought came to me, something utterly random.

"What's your favorite flower?" I asked, turning around to see Frank slipping a shirt over his head. "White roses." He smiled, "I know, I sound like a girl."

"No, you sound like Frank, who happens to be unique and beautiful and sexy and-"

"I get it Gerard," he took a few steps closer to me, wrapping his arms around my shirtless torso, his small, short frame looking up at me. He had to stand on the tips of his toes for his lips to reach my own.

I kissed him tenderly, "we should be getting home, darling."