He had made me walk home in the snow.
But that wasn't the only reason I was trembling.
His scent made me nauseous, but I huddled my tiny body in the hoodie he had carelessly thrown at me. Cologne I had once swooned at now leaves a vile impression at the back of my throat. But at least he gave me this, right? I wrapped my arms around myself, but it didn't help the cold in my bones. I had felt the cold in his fingertips earlier than night. Ice that had stemmed from his frozen heart. And I was nothing more than visible bones, overflowing love and smiles edged with tears.
Audrey hadn't yet made a key for me, so I knocked on the apartment door. When he let me in, I hadn't even locked eyes with him before collapsing. All I know is that I was in his arms just before blacking out.
When my eyelids fluttered open, I was laying on the couch. It appeared I hadn't been out too long. I opened my mouth to speak, but words wouldn't sound. Audrey was silently examining me head to toe. He held my frostbitten fingers in his hands in an attempt to warm them. My hands were shaking so harshly that it made me dizzy to look at them...
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
My nearly nude body was trembling when Asher caught hold of me as I tried to flee. "Going somewhere?" He asked with a lick of his lips. His grip was tight around my waist, fingernails making indentions in my hips. I struggled to get away, elbowing him in the ribs. But it was a mistake-- it only angered him. He pulled my hair, forcing my head back, throat exposed. His lips brushed my ear as he growled, "the little slut likes it rough..."
My mouth opened to shout for help but my breath caught as the cold of metal met my throat. He pressed his lips to mine before slamming me hard to the wall, my back to him. With the breath knocked out of me, I meekly whispered a plea. But the only reaction I got was feeling the hardening of his erection. My eyes widened at the sound of unzipping. He kicked my legs apart and I began to cry. I cried and begged for him not to do this, only going dead silent at the whistling of a chain through the air. The tear of my shirt shrieked with the impact. My back stung, first bitten with ice then with a searing sensation. I yelped in pain, faltering to my hands and knees on the floor.
With a swift motion, the chain was around my neck. Asher was more than pleased to be behind me. I felt the knife along my hip, then gasped as he cut my panties off. He yanked the chain, and chuckled to himself when I choked. "This is the most beautiful you've ever been baby... so hopeless and all mine."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"No!" I jerked upright, tears blurring my vision. I scrambled to the corner of the couch in fear, wrapping my arms around my knees. When the figure in front of me tried to reach for me, I flinched away.
"Please don't hurt me!" I cried.
"Kyle... Kyle, what's wrong?" Audrey's soothing voice lured me from my hysteria.
Once again, my voice wouldn't allow words to come through. Not knowing how to even speak of the horror I had gone through, I stood up before him. Carefully, I pulled the hoodie over my head, wincing when the fabric skimmed my wounds. Audrey's eyes widened when he looked me over. My porcelain skin was littered with blooms of purple bruises, dried blood smeared around welts. Feathers from my wings tipped with blood clung to my flesh. I weakly rubbed at my wrists, feeling vulnerable.
Audrey's expression quickly flickered to defense, "who did this to you?!"
"A-Asher..." Even saying his name made me shudder, "he... was angry that I didn't want to have sex with him... and he-" My voice cut off as I began to sob again. I rushed to Audrey's arms when he stood up.
"What did he do?" Audrey's voice was stern.
"H-He... he r-r-raped me..." I managed to stammer out before burying my face in his chest. I clutched onto his shoulders for security. He held me tight. The moment was silent for a moment.
My virginity was supposed to be for love and loyalty. But instead, it was ripped from me by greedy hands with poison-tipped claws. I'm supposed to be pure, made of light. Now my light was dim and dull, and I was tainted. I'll never be able to take my purity back... Maybe if I had just let him fuck me, he wouldn't have hurt me. Maybe if I was beautiful, he wouldn't have wanted to ruin my pretty skin. Maybe if I was thinner, he wouldn't have dug his nails into my overbearing hips. And maybe if I was worth loving, I wouldn't have been so desperate to love such an evil man.
"... I deserved it."
Audrey pulled back a little, "excuse me?"
I bite my lip briefly, "I should've been better for him... He always told me I was so below his standards that I was lucky to even have him. I'm so undeserving of love, I should've jus-- mmh--"
I was cut off by Audrey's lips against mine. Serenity and adoration replaced feelings of self-loathing. The pulsing pain in my wounds was drowned out by the pounding of my heart. He was the crackling of the fireplace during a snowstorm, my teddy bear when I'm scared of the night monsters.
If heaven was a feeling, this was it.
