Allegiance | Kylo Ren

LXXXI

I ignited my lightsaber and lashed it at a nearby wall in frustration as I heard of the escape of the three Resistance fighters. The informant trooper left quickly, probably afraid that he would be my next target. But not Calia. She stayed by my side, watching me evenly—unfazed by my outburst.

"How do they keep escaping us?" I muttered angrily.

"I don't know." Her voice was slightly altered by the trooper helmet. "We'll get them, though. They'll keep coming back, and eventually we'll be able to make it so they can't get away."

I turned and stared at her, confused as to why I didn't like what she was saying. It almost felt as if I didn't want her to be loyal to the First Order, which didn't make any sense at all. I had been struggling with my own loyalty for a while, but there was no reason for me to want to question hers.

But instead of saying anything, I sighed. "Let's go."

Then I was inside Kylo's bedroom.

Her face was alarmingly close to mine as she inspected the wound I had managed to hide until we returned to the base. I sat comfortably on my bed, my eyes trained on her face as she gently dabbed at my bloodied skin with a rag. I found myself inspecting her lips, and blinked quickly, averting my gaze.

When her blue eyes met mine, I was overcome with the urge to kiss her. But before I could, she spoke.

"I don't think you're going to need stitches."

I sighed softly at the missed opportunity. "That's good."

She then made some joke about how we both managed to tear out stitches often, but I wasn't really listening. I watched her mouth as she spoke, captivated by the sparkle in her eyes as she laughed. I found myself smiling softly.

"Thank you."

She seemed surprised. "Y-you're welcome."

I felt the need to elaborate. "Not just for this. For everything. Visiting me. Talking to me. Taking my mind off things."

My eyes fluttered shut, my body suddenly overcome by exhaustion.

"I was starting to think that I was boring you with all of my long stories." Her voice was quiet.

I frowned. You could never bore me. Your voice is like honey, and your mannerisms are intoxicating. I could watch you talk all day and never want to blink for fear of missing something.

But I didn't give voice to these thoughts. I kept them bottled up, as usual.

Suddenly I was in the middle of a fierce battle, locked in combat with Rey.

I swung my lightsaber viciously, my full concentration on my duel. We moved in sync, our fiery weapons crashing against each other with barely a second in between hits to catch our breath.

But then I heard a scream, and my heart stopped. Somehow I knew who it was without turning.

Rey glanced at me, alarmed, before sheathing her saber and fleeing. I let her go, worried about nothing but Calia in that moment.

She was curled in a ball on the ground, her hands clamped across her face. Blood was leaking out from between her fingers.

"Cal, we need to get you back to the ship." I wasn't sure if she could hear me, so I pulled her gently to her feet, allowing her to rest heavily against me as I half-carried her back to our vessel. I set her down gently in the very back, resting her against the wall.