Chapter 14: Blank

7K 326 8
                                    

I've been acting like I'm the beta, like I'm beneath Graham, but I'm not. I shouldn't let him get to me. Im the alpha here. Im going to make him mine and he's going to like it.

I may not want to be the top in this, but if it gives me the end result I want, so be it.

I've decided to let all past mistakes go. I've gotten my revenge and now it's time to let go, to start anew on a blank canvas, ready to paint whatever picture I have in mind.

Graham is apparently hauled up in his room today. His parents give me sad looks as I walk in but I hold my shoulders back. I don't let their looks of pity get to me as I walk up the steps.

I slam the door open, not knocking, much the same as he's done to me, except I'm not looking to pull him out of the bed as he did with me.

I crawl in until I'm sitting against the wall, staring, waiting, trying to resist the pull.

He wakes up, sensing the presence of something he wants so bad but has ruined.

Jumping

Falling off the bed.

"What are you doing!" Panicked voice.

"Morning." I give him my grin, letting him see my teeth.

"Why are you in here!?" He's so confused. I left him hanging last time.

"Just thought I'd finish what I started." I say. Casual, shoulder shrugging, giving off  a vibe that says I don't have a care in the world.

He knows different.

He can feel what I'm feeling, how I'm tired of the distance, tired of the fighting.

He doesn't come any closer, so I pat the bed next to me.

Sitting beside each her now, both leaning against the wall, shoulders touching. "You were right."

His words surprise me. "About what?" I'm curious, but I let the hand closest to him start to shift, start to inch it's way over to his thighs.

He doesn't stop me as my hand starts to make its way over them, clasping his muscle in my hand. An audible gasp leaves his lips. He can't hold back the way I feel to him, the tingles that spread along us, between us, pulling us ever closer.

"Me."

Fingers crawling up, up , up, until they reach the waistband of his boxers, pushing inside to take him in hand, my grip firm.

"What about?" I can't stop my hormones now. They are haywire. We've both resisted this pull for far too long and are being punished for it with this overload of want.

He doesn't want to tell me what I'm right about, so I start to stroke him in a fast motion, brushing the underside of his tip with my thumb on each upstroke.

He's quivering, finally feeling what a real bond has to offer him, what I always knew we could feel together before he ruined those fantasies.

But now I've let that go and I can make my wishes come true.

I continue my sure strokes, giving it to him the way I know I like it, the way I know he likes it too.

Rough

Hard

His hand is clutching my wrist, trying to resist but unable to. His hips start to squirm, shaking with the effort and I grin as I stare into his eyes.

He's close, almost tipping over the edge when I stop completely, pulling my hand out of his boxers.

"Wha-" Confused and left wanting, denied just as he had been before.

"What was I right about, Graham?" He can tell I mean business. He can feel how serious. I am.

I won't finish him off unless he answers. I will only edge him until he's left begin under me, just as he meant to as an alpha's mate.

He sighs under the pressure, reaches down to adjust himself, to rub the ache I know he feels.

Hands are grasping his hair, turning him to face me. "What was I right about?" He's making me angry, making me want to hurt him more even though I am barely holding onto the lust myself.

His eyes stray to the side, a coward, unable to keep my gaze as he speaks. "I was lying to myself and I've made us both miserable because of it." Head hanging low. He's so ashamed.

I can only sympathize so much, though.

"I wasn't just miserable. I felt like you stabbed me with a thousand knifes to the back." He flinches, but I'm not yelling, only stating fact. "I don't really even want to be here, but it's getting hard to stay away. The bond is pushing me to close the distance between us."

His hand is reaching back, taking one of mine from the tangled grasp it has on his hair. "I don't expect forgiveness." His touch sends tingles straight to my dick.

"And I'm not going to mention it again. I want to make an agreement with you."

This seems to peek his interests, if only a bit.

"Since our bond is becoming hard to resist, we need to have some form of physical contact to keep it satisfied. We can be fuck buddies, but nothing more." I let the words leave my lips, testing the way they feel.

Is this just an excuse for the bond or is it an excuse for me to have all the things I've wanted from him even if it's on a superficial level? I'm not exactly sure myself, because he's definetly still on my shit list.

His voice is shaky as he answers.

"Okay."

This is the only way I can think to fix this, to make myself feel whole, to fill the blankness that is starting to encompass me, to start fresh.

Hidden BondsWhere stories live. Discover now