Toxic Relationship || Mesut Özil

4.

As I'm still sitting in the terrace, crying, I can hear Mesut starting the car. I'm shaken and I still can't believe what just happened. I couldn't recognize him. He had never yelled at me before and he had never... scared me before either. What he said about me not going anywhere was actually really scary and has my heart beating faster when I think about it. You can't just force people to love you and I feel bad for thinking that way but it is the truth. I definitely do not want to spend the rest of my life with him although what he said was true : I've been quite unfair with him sometimes. 

I don't know what to do. I'm scared to say to his face that I'm gonna leave him since he threatened me but in the meantime I don't want to stay either. Without thinking, I decide to get up, go to our room and throw all of my stuff in my suitcase without even taking the time to fold them. I am completely crazy for doing this since Mesut could come back in any minute and get angrier. I don't even take the time to check if I have forgotten anything and try to close the suitcase which is literally full of unfolded clothes and messier than ever. I struggle so hard to pull the zipper up than I can feel my body sweating. When it's done I grab my handbag, my converse shoes and put them on. I then grab my suitcase and take it near the main door before I realise that I don't even know where I'm going and how. My heart starts to beat faster and I can feel tears rolling down my cheeks when I remember that Mesut could catch me here trying to sneak out. I decide to take my things and head to the hotel reception. The receptionist is a young lady who looks very surprised when she sees me running in her direction with red, puffy eyes from crying. 

"What is wrong? Can I help you?" she says in a concerned tone. 

"I just got in a fight with my boyfriend, he left for a while and he could come back in any minute. I was wondering if you could call a taxi for me please it's urgent." I reply crying and stuttering. 

"Oh my god of course!" 

She immediatly takes the phone and calls a taxi. 

"It's going to take him ten minutes to come here. Do you want to wait back there?" she says as she shows me a little door behind her. 

"Yes please, thank you so much." 

She takes me to the small room, tells me to make myself comfortable and closes the door behind her. These are honestly the longest ten minutes of my life. What if I come across Mesut when I get out of the room? How is Mesut going to react when he finds out that I have left? What if he freaks out and gets the receptionist to tell him everything? What if he finds me? My belly hurts from worrying. I decide to get up and walk around in a circle. I have to take deep breathes, my forehead is all sweaty and I feel like I'm about to start crying again.
The door handle suddenly starts moving and I can recognize the receptionist as the door is slowly opening.

"Your taxi is here ma'am!"

"Thank you, for everything."

"My pleasure. Please be safe."

"I will." I replied, smiling at her. It is so uncommon nowadays to meet pure, nice people.
I could never thank that young woman enough.
I waste no more time and immediately grab my suitcase and head to the taxi. The taxi driver is waiting next to the car.

"Hello Ma'am" he says.

"Hello" I reply in a low voice.

He takes my suitcase and puts it in the back of the car and then we both get in.

"So where are you going?" he asks.

That's actually a good question. Where am I going?

"Hmm... I don't even know." I replied. "Could you take me to a hotel far from here and near the airport?"

I need to go back to England as soon as possible.

"Which one?" he says. He sounds kind of annoyed already which makes me feel bad.

"I... I don't know. I'm not from around here. I just need to get away from here it's a long story."

He sighs and rolls his eyes before pulling his phone off his pocket. I guess he's trying to look for a hotel that's near the aiport.
He starts the car a few minutes later.

"I'm really sorry for bothering you I should have known where I was going. It's all my fault." I say, hoping that he will reply in a "nice", non-annoyed way.

"Nah it's fine." he ends up replying whilst looking at me in the small mirror.

We both stay very quiet during the entire drive. When we arrive, he helps me take my suitcase out of the back of the car and I give him extra money for kindly finding me a hotel , that looked nice by the way. Too bad I'm no staying.

I get in and head to the reception.

"How long are you staying?" the receptionist says.

"I'm staying a day."

When everything is done, she gives me the keys and I go to my room. I finally feel like I can relax now. It's one pm, Mesut is probably home right now and he must be freaking out but for some reason I can't be bothered.
I'm gonna go back to England, go to our appartment, take all of my stuff before he comes back and then disappear and make sure he never sees me again. It's better that way.
I decide to check my phone and the first thing that appears on my screen is :

"7 missed calls from Mesut Özil"

I immediately block his number.
Good news! I just managed to book a flight for tomorrow night. Soon all of this will be forgotten and I could finally move on with my life.

~ ~ ~
This chapter is dedicated to Jaackkyyy ! xxx Thank you so much for your kind comments and your support! They really mean a lot to me!
And thanks to all of you too! I'm not forgetting you at all and the following chapters will be dedicated to you too!
Sorry for not posting in so long, I've been so busy. I'm gonna try to post every Friday (I'll stick to it I promise).
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Loads of love xx