Toxic Relationship || Mesut Özil

2.

I head to the bathroom to take my makeup off. As I do so, I can't help thinking about the fight Mesut and I had. I don't know what we're still doing together. To be honest, I don't even know if I still love him. I like him, but I surely do not love him anymore. We've been together for three years but yet I don't think he is the man of my life and the fact that he proposed makes me feel like I'm trapped, because if I leave him now, everyone is gonna think that I'm a bitch. Moreover, everyone thinks that we're living this perfect disney life. If only they knew... It is his fault too though, this relationship is clearly making him sad all the time, why doesn't he just let me go? Why on earth did he propose whilst we were in the middle of a couple crisis? I hate him for trapping me with a proposal. I am way too young to get married and found a family. I need to find a way out of this and if it means that I'm gonna have to make him leave me, then I'll do everything I can for it to happen.

I decide to sleep on the couch tonight because I really need to get away from Mesut and I also want to avoid talking to him. I lie on the couch, pull up the blanket and unlock my phone. As I scroll down on Instagram I can hear footsteps behind me.

"You're not sleeping with me?" he says in a sad tone that does not even affect me since he does that all the time.

"As you can see I'm not." I say without even taking my eyes off my phone.

He does not reply and I can hear footsteps again. I don't know how I'm gonna survive ten more days I really wanna go home.

I wake up at around 9am and find out that Mesut is in the terrace doing nothing and probably waiting for us to have a conversation. I am not gonna be able to avoid him forever so I just decide to sit down but I still make sure not to get too close to him and leave a chair between us.

"Morning." he says in the same sad, boring, acting-like-a-victim tone.

"Hi." I reply. I really want to get everything off my chest and just leave him but it is so hard when he's acting like that and making me feel like I'm such a horrible person.

"Listen Eva..."

Oh gosh can he not?

"... if there is anything that I have done or that I am doing wrong please I need you to tell me. You know we're getting married, we're gonna be a family..."

Did he have to say that?

"... and maybe I'm doing it wrong but what I want more than anything else in the world is to make you happy. If there is anything that I need to change then I am gonna change but please, I need this to stop. None of us are happy. Are you?"

What kind of stupid question is that?

"Of course not."

"Well that's proof things need to change."

I feel so bad already I wish he could stop making things harder than they already are. I just want to end all of this and he's not letting me.

"Come on Mesut both of us know that this relationship is already broken why are you trying so hard?" I say in a harsh way.

As he hears my words he sighs deeply and covers his face with his hands and for once, it kind of hurts me to see him like that.

I don't know what to do.

~ ~ ~

Thanks for reading! The chapters are gonna be longer I promise. I just need to set the story. Please comment and vote! Do you think Eva is finally gonna leave him and end the pain for both of them? Next chapter is gonna be Mesut's pov.