started with a lie ➳ raura revised

Chapter Twenty-Nine

He's so selfless and doesn't expect anything from me.

"I love you," I whisper by accident. My eyes widen. Shit.

He didn't hear it. He didn't hear it. Please hear it. He didn't—

"What?"

Oh shit. Now what?

He's stopped hugging me and he stills, pulling his hands away. His hands rest on his knees and I can't feel him breathing so I turn around, panicked. Ross's eyes are hazed and it's like he's not here even though he physically is. He's still as a statue.

"Ross?" I shake his leg slightly. "Ross? Hello?"

He keeps on staring into whatever the hell is so interesting. "What did you say?"

My eyes almost fall out. So he definitely heard me. Well now that there's no going back, I'm going to have to work around it. I'm scared of his reaction. Yes, he said he loved me but what if I say it? Will he finally realize how stupid we are being and run? I do want him to realize the truth but I don't want him to run. Not from me.

What could I say to rewind? Do I lie?

"Nothing, nothing," I say, waving my hand in the air as if it could move away and erase my words and his dull trance. "I just said...The city looks like poo."

He doesn't move an inch. Or breathe. "Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"What you said. Don't lie to me."

I'm stuck. I can't lie my way around this. Not with Ross—he knows my lies and how stupid they really are. I can't take back my words. There's only one direction left  to go; forward.

"I...." My shoulders loosen and I let my guard down. I can't run away from him either. What could possibly happen with three little stupid words? "I...I love you."

"Really?" He's still as dull as a black hole.

"Uh...," I say, scratching the back of my head. "I guess."

And now I'm scared because he hasn't moved. His hands are still on his knees, away from me. He's refraining from touching me or even breathing near me. Have I scared him o for good? It's good I have because this will end in two broken hearts anyways. I sigh. The end is here.

"Really?" Slowly but surely, his eyes skim over to mine shortly.

I feel my heart restart as if it's been electrocuted. I whisper, "Really."

I don't know why we're whispering. There's only him and I and only us for miles to go. The only other thing that's alive is the city behind me. Maybe it's because I don't need the whole world to hear how much I love him. If he knows, that's the world enough for me.

"Really?" he repeats, his voice so on the ears.

"Really," I snap. This is getting annoying. Am I going to have to say really for the rest of our hours together? I cross my arms. "Really, Ross. Really! I love you! Jeez."

"Really?" This time, his whole face transforms. Color returns to his cheeks and his eyes that were so lifelessly staring at nothing fire up into the blue that I've known. His lips twitch. "Really?" I want to punch him. He grabs my hands. "Really, Laura Marie Marano?"

I knew I regretted telling him my middle name. I sigh, feigning boredom. "Yes. Really. I love you, Ross Shor Lynch. What more do you—"

I could see why Ross had gotten pissed at the diner for me interrupting him countless times because right now I wanted nothing more to punch him to Mars. But I can't let my thoughts or actions process because suddenly I'm yanked into his arms and he's holding me so tight I can barely breathe.