started with a lie ➳ raura revised

Chapter Twenty-Nine

"I thought you left. I thought you ditched me because—I just, I just thought you decided to leave," I say fast and quick. My arms hug him tighter.

Ross's chin is on my head and his hand is soothing my hair. The other is rubbing my back in circles. He sounds confused. "What do you mean?"

"I-sorry"—I pull back immediately—"I guess I'm overreacting." I sit on my legs and immediately feel stupid and ridiculous. I need to calm down. He was just taking a nap of his own, jeez. My hands furiously wipe at my face for any tears.

His hands drop to his sides and then he stares at me, confused again. He tilts his head and tries to see what's bothering me. Like tilting his head a couple degrees is going to help him find the answers to life.Ross doesn't care suddenly why I'm crying because he takes my wrist and pulls me back to his chest.

"I...," he says, "I don't know why you're upset. But I'm here."

I don't say anything but just relinquish under his arms and just take a breath. A long breath. My tears stop and my heart returns to it's normal drum. His heart is still frantically beating and I have no idea why but he just holds me and we don't have to say anything at all. It's enough for him just to hold me-whether he wants to leave me or not.

After a few minutes of holding me, he asks, "You okay?"

I play with buttons on his shirt, my cheek still on his heart. "Yes."

"You want to move?" 

"No."

"Okay."

No words are exchanged for the next ten minutes and he just holds me. He rests his cheek on my head and I imagine him holding me and staring at the skyline of the city. The sun is beginning to set—I must've slept for a while. The sky turns to a so pink and there are dips of orange in between. I feel at peace.

"Hey," he whispers. "Laura?"

Ross must think I've fallen asleep again but I think I've slept enough. "Yeah?"

"I think you should see this," he replies, his voice still low and quiet. I can feel his lips move in my hair and I slowly back away from his chest. He points his chin to behind me. "Look."

I turn slowly and Ross pulls me back into his arms. My back is to his chest and our knees bend together. My eyes wander over to the horizon and it's truly breathtaking. Really. I feel my breath stop because the whole city is outlined by the sunset and it makes the city look more beautiful than it already is. There are a few twinkling lights from some skyscrapers and it looks as if the stars had spilled into the buildings instead of the sky. The whole thing is incredible.

"Wow," is all I can think of to say. If I began describing the scene, I'd end up with a thirty-thousand page novel.

"Yeah," he says and his voice vibrates against his chest to my back. His face is planted on the crook of my neck and he's staring at me.

"Isn't it beautiful?" I say, turning my face to him but he's too close and I feel my lungs stop working. I turn away quickly, my face warming.

"Yeah, you are," he whispers so softly I almost don't hear it.

I hear it anyway and my heart halts in my body. I push closer to his body and he holds me tightly. I would give anything to be able to keep this boy as my own. He's the most imperfect being I've ever met and yet he's still the most dazzling. He's everything and more to me and I do. I love him.

I fucking love this fucker.

I don't know why it's such a big surprise to me. I'm sure I loved him when he called me the first time I talked to him. I'm sure I loved him when when he yelled at me. I'm sure I loved him when he helped me, though it only hurt him. I'm sure I loved him when I held him for the first time. When he got sick. When he got angry. When he looked at me with his intense blue eyes. When he told me loved me.