I Miss You

I

Four months passed since Kuroo went to study abroad. Being without my childhood friend has been really difficult. Being the new captain is a burden. Shouyo and Kageyama are currently on Japan's national team. It's been lonely without them though. Also, I haven't opened the box Kuroo gave me. I have no intentions to do s, but sometimes is really tempty. 

"Kenma-San!" The first years were such a pain. Like mini Levs. 

"I told you already... Kenma is fine"

"But you're our senpai! I need to respect you!"

I sighed. I sigh a lot lately. Our team is slowly falling down. I'm not a good captain, Kuroo and coach Nekomata knew this, yet they still chose me. 

Practise finally ended, and I stayed to tidy up the gym.

"KENMA!!!" I turned my head to see a jumpy Shouyou running towards me. 

"Hey Shouyou. It's been a lot since I last saw you."

"I know, right? So how are you- WOAH YOU'RE CAPTAIN" 

"Ah, yes... What are you doing here in Tokyo?"

"Well I am training with Kageyama in the national gym and I thought it would be nice visiting you."

"Thanks"

"Hey... where is Ku-"

"He is not in Japan anymore."

"Oh... Are you-"

"I'm fine." I started walking towards the locker. I feel weaker even though four months passed. 

"Kenma."

I looked towards the readhead who was holding a volleyball. The net was still up.

"Toss for me."

"Impossible... You're used to Kageyama's tosses... And he is on national team like you"

"That's true. But it's been a lot since I played with another setter. Please, Kenma... Toss for me."

<<When you're watching one of Shorty's matches, your face looks the same way it does when you're starting a freshly-bought game, y'know?>>

"Alright"

It was pretty relaxing. I got actually really tired, so when Shouyou helped me tidy up I was pretty grateful. We said our goodbyes and I headed home. My parents are in a business trip so I was alone. I had a portion of apple pie my mom left me so that was my dinner. I started to remember when Kuroo gave me his portion, just because I liked it. A tear fell down my right cheek. I need to see that box.

I ran to room and opened the box desperatly, just to find a bunch of letters, pictures and a cat plush. I took everything out and started to look at the pictures.

A picture of both of us holding a volleyball. Kuroo had a noticeable bedhead, even more than his usual one and making a peace sign with his hand. I was just besides him, holdin the volleyball with my both hands. The second picture was Kuroo dying my hair. I didn't want to be noticed by my hair so I told him to dye it for me. Of course, I understood I stood out because of the lenght of my hair, not by the color. The third one was just me, holding  new game. The forth one was me too, giving a hint of a smile to Shouyou. The next one was Kuroo and me, a polaroid wich Kuroo won in a contest. Me, me, him, me. All the pics had me in it. Except for one. Kuroo cooking. That day I was a bit sick, so he came to my house and cooked for me. I remember taking that pic... maybe he found it.

The letters were pretty funny. They were conversations between me and Kuroo. We used to put them in our mail boxes since were neighbors. One in specific called my attention. It was recent too.

<< Hey Kenma, I'm going to graduate now. Will you be a good captain? You must say the motivation quote before the matches. Oh here are the keys to my house. I left frozen apple pie, just put it on the microwave. I'll miss you Kenma. And if you have anxiety attacks how you used to have, remember what I taught you. Go to your happy place and breathe. I don't know when will I go back... But I hope is soon, just to see what a good captain you've become... Also a good senpai, hahaha. Well... it's a bit expensive if you call me, but you have my email and social medias... so please email me from time to time. Also, I left some pics in the box too... Just a reminder of our friendhip. The cat plush is a gift. Imagine its me ♥. Well... goodbye mate"

If I cried before I'm actually sobbing now. I missed him, so much. I opened my email. I haven't opened it. I had 3 emails from Kuroo.

<< Hey Kenma! How are you doing? Did you like the box?? Here everything's going well, there are a lot of things to do. However, I miss Karasuno yelling the Tokyo tower is a simple phone tower. I also miss Bokuto and everyone in the team. Specially you. I hope you answer me quickly and fill me in.>> Three months ago

<<Hey, Kenma. Something happened over here... please email me.>> Two moths ago

<<Kenma... please answer me. Did I do something wrong? Sould I stop emeailing you... Ha as if. How are you and the team?>> A month ago

Suddenly, Kuroo's instant message revealed that he was connected.

<<Kenma... I miss you. Please answer me>> a minute ago

I really wanted to email back... I really did but I couldn't. What would I tell him? That I'm a horrible captain? That the team is slowly falling behind? That "Shorty" was now on national team and I'm just here, stcuked... sulking? That I didn't went to his home or opened the box in the whole four months?

<<Kenma... You're online... did something happen?>>

<<I'm alright hbu?>>

<<Kenma... this is your first time talking to me since I went away... Did I do something?>>

I wanted him to feel how I feel. Miserable.

<<Pretty good. I kinda forgot about you really... Please leave me alone for now.>>

<<But Kenma->>

And I closed the mail. I was crying, crying so hard. I didn't want to feel like this. I regret what I did to him. But what can I do? He'll think I'm even more lame than before. I took the keys from his home. Kuroo's family moved to Osaka so he's been living by his own. I opened the house and it still had a faint smell of Kuroo. The pies where there too. Because they were frozen, they were in perfect state. I walked over the house like a hunting ghost, and finally found Kuroo's room. He left a lot of things behind. His volleyball uniform too. It smelled just like him, just like he was there. I missed him. I took my shirt off and tossed Kuroo's black shirt on. I also undid his bed and slowly drifted to a deep sleep.

Morning arrived. It was pretty late so I just called the day off. Lev's message came in immediately, asking if I was alright.
I walked towards the door and looked st my reflection on Kuroo's body length mirror. I grew up a few cm. My hair was longer so I could tie it up. Also it was losing the blond. I seemed a bit skinnier. Staring at my face, I didn't recognise myself. I had eye bags and seemed pretty tired. I remembered I had a PSP here so I grabbed it, and strangely it had full battery. I played a bit to distract myself and started baking pie. He also had a bit of rice so that's what I'm eating for launch.
I checked my mail and I had 20 instant messages. All from from Kuroo.
<<Kenma answer me. Why leave you alone?>>
<<Kenma I'm worried did something happen?
<<Please>>
Suddenly I saw the last one. And no one of the other messages cared anymore.
<<Kenma, you don't know how much I miss you, I really do. Please, answer me, I'm worried. Did something happen? Are you mad at me? C'mon Kenma please. I can't lose you>>

I don't want to lose you either...

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SORRY FOR SPELLING MISTAKES
Cyxx