Almost Normal

Chapter 26

So now, sitting in this small little bed, are two boys who wish to be put back together.

The tables have turned, and it's time to wipe the slate clean. I'm not looking for revenge now, but things can't go back to the way they were either. We now have scars on us that won't go away for some time now, but maybe with some understanding, we can help each other become whole again.

I glance into his eyes and can already see the tears welling up in those emerald eyes I had learned to love, but now were only filled with sadness and anxiousness.

I carefully raise my arm and caress his cheek in my hand. His skin is warm against my hand, and the tears start to cascade down his face and gracefully land on my fingers. With tender touches, I slowly wipe away all of the tears that threaten to roll down his complexion. We gaze into each others eyes for what seems like hours, until finally I speak up.

"I know."

I know that he's sorry, there's no doubting that. He knows he's in the wrong, and there's no doubting that either. At some point, we both just have to throw away the baggage that we've carried this far. It'll be scary and confusing, but god, when I look into those eyes...I feel like I'm home.

I don't want that to go away anytime soon. Eren is my best friend, and this will be the hardest trial of our friendship. It'll require opening up about our deepest darkest secrets that lay under our skin, just waiting to be released, and hopefully, the other won't run away in fear.

So I know that he's sorry because I feel the same as he does, and in that moment, we're both on the same page for the first time in months.

We stay like that, just holding onto each other like it's the only thing we know how to do. We don't speak for a while, and that's okay, we have time for that later. However, sometimes Eren would put his face against my hair and whisper soft "I'm sorry" over and over, until I'd have to rub his back and calm him down again.

After a while, our content silence comes to an end. My doctors walk in and I begrudgingly comply with their tests as they make sure I'm getting an adequate amount of drugs in my body to ward off the depression that seeks to take over my mind. Eren watches from the chair that he now sits in.

The worst part of the day is when they change my bandages on my wrists. I bite my lip and glance at the floor as they clean the wounds and put new medicine on them. However, I quickly make the mistake of glancing up at Eren and the look on his face will haunt whatever new nightmares I have.

He looks as if his whole world was taken from him. His green eyes gaze at the straight vertical lines that decorate my pale skin. His tanned skin quickly pales out and for a second, I think he might faint. That is, until our eyes meet. I lift my head and nod.

"I'm okay."

And for once, I mean it.

Over time, Eren comes and sees me every day on a regular schedule. Sometimes with Mikasa, Jean, Marco, and all of the others visit as well. Other days, it's just him.

It all starts to get easier to smile and laugh softly with all of them, and maybe I can thank that to the drugs pumping in my bloodstream, but I like to think of it as that I'm actually starting to get better, rather than relying solely on my prescriptions.

A couple of weeks go past me and before I know it, my sophomore year of college is done. All of my professors emailed me saying that in light of events, they've excused me from taking finals, and also noting how I probably would've passed them anyways.

Although, one teacher did still push me to challenge myself over the summer. Professor Petra had called me one day to normally ask how I was going, but also to tell me to always find my voice through writing.