Ego {Completed}

Chapter 15

It was almost midnight when Tina heard her doorbell ring. She wondered who could be at her house at this hour. She wasn't expecting anyone. When she made it to the door and opened it, she was met with the tearful gaze of her eldest daughter.
"Beyoncé, what's wrong?" She asked, her voice full of concern. She knew that her daughter was upset the last time they spoke earlier that day, but she wasn't nearly this upset.
Beyoncé shrugged her shoulders and let out a sob. "He left me." She broke down and Tina had to catch her from falling. "Mamma, he left me."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Beyoncé sat on the couch and wiped her ever falling tears as she told and relived the events that had just passed a few hours ago. At this point, everyone in the house was up and listening to her. She didn't want to stay home, all she would do there is cry. At her mother's house at least, she'd have a shoulder to cry on.
"He really asked you to get an abortion?" Larren asked. From the very beginning, she doubted very much that Shawn would do such a thing.
Beyoncé nodded as she leaned on her mother's chest. "He said we could just have another baby later on. Just like Terrance said." She continued to cry. "And I told him that he didn't have to stay, but I didn't think he would really leave."
When she started to cry harder, Tina held her closer and rubbed her back. "It's okay, honey." She spoke softly to her daughter. The last time she had seen her break down like this was when she caught Terrance cheating.

No one really knew what to say or do. They all figured that the best thing they could do was to just let her cry and comfort her as much as possible. Tina told Beyoncé that she could stay the night. She was too upset to drive home anyway, especially at this hour. Beyoncé showered and dressed in her night clothes, then she took the second guest bedroom. She stayed up for a while and just felt miserable, then a while later, Larren entered the room.
"Hey," she said softly.
Beyoncé responded with the same.
Larren slowly walked towards the bed and sat down next to her sister. For a while, the two of them were quiet, until Larren finally spoke. "I'm so sorry. I really didn't think that he would-"
"Yeah, me too."
"You really care about him, don't you?" She asked.
Before she could answer, her tears came again. She bowed her head in grief and covered her face as she nodded. "I do." She finally said when she could compose herself some. "And it's not just because I'm having his baby. I've cared about him for a while, I've just never told him. I should have."
"Beyoncé, I'm sure he cares about you too-"
"He left." She whispered.

Larren shrugged. "Maybe he just needs some time to think."
"Maybe he's right." Beyoncé whispered again.
"About what?"
She looked up at her sister. "Maybe it isn't a good time to have a baby right now."
Larren gave her sister a disapproving look. "Is that what you really think? Is that something you could do? Again?"
Beyoncé held a pillow close to her body and let her tears fall free. "No." She shook her head
"What do you want to do?"
Beyoncé let out another sob and looked up towards the ceiling. "I want to keep the baby and I want to be with Shawn. But apparently I can't have both."
"Well, what do you want more?" Larren challenged.
"I can't be with him if I get an abortion. I'll resent him."
Larren shrugged. "Sounds like you've made up your mind."
Beyoncé nodded. She knew she'd never get another abortion, no matter how she felt about Shawn or how much she wanted him. But it still didn't hurt much less.

Before she fell asleep, Beyoncé saw her phone light up. She picked it up to see that Shawn had text her.
'I'm sorry' was all the text said. She didn't respond. He could be sorry all he wanted, it didn't make her feel any better. She knew she was at fault too, they both had some responsibility in this. She just wished she wasn't in this alone.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I woke up at six and couldn't fall back asleep, so I headed downstairs. I was starving, so I decided to make myself some breakfast. No one else was up yet, so the house was pretty quiet, which I didn't mind. My head hurt from all my crying last night. I know I didn't go into work yesterday, but I really couldn't bring myself to go in today either, so I text my sister and let her know.
I pulled out ingredients to make an omelette and started cooking. Once my breakfast was done, I sat alone in the kitchen to eat. Thirty minutes later, Paris came downstairs.
"Good morning." she greeted.
I smiled as best as I could. "Morning." I saw her head to the fridge and pull out the milk. "What are you doing up so early?" I asked.
"I have school. What are you doing up?"
I stood up and headed towards the coffee pot. "Couldn't sleep anymore." I started to get the coffee going, but then Paris spoke.

"Um, I'm no expert on pregnancy or anything, but isn't caffeine bad for the baby?"
I turned to look at her. My look said that I wasn't in the mood right now.
She held her hands up in defense. "I mean, do what you want, but that is my niece or nephew in there."
I sighed and softened. She did have a point. "Well, maybe someone else will want it."
"Wait, you're giving up the baby?"
"What?" I laughed. "No, I meant the coffee."
"Oh. Duh, sorry."
I shook my head. "No, it's fine. I haven't laughed in a while."
She stayed quiet for a while before she spoke again. "I know I don't really know Shawn, but I think he'll change his mind."
"What makes you so sure?"
She shrugged. "I mean, I can tell that he cares about you. And he seems to be a good guy. He'll probably come around to do the right thing." I looked at her and she smiled. "But even if he doesn't, you always have us."

I smiled and felt the tears stinging my eyes. "Don't make me cry again."
Paris came to me and hugged me. I hugged her back tightly. It's probably exactly what I needed at the moment.
"What's wrong?" I heard my mother's voice. I looked up from my embrace to see her walking towards us.
Paris and I pulled apart, and I wiped my eyes. "Nothing, we were just talking."
"Oh. You okay?"
I nodded. "I'll be okay."
Thirty minutes later, Paris was heading off to school, Larren was down at the kitchen table with me, and my mom was preparing breakfast. I know I already ate, but I was hungry enough for a second breakfast.
"Are you going in to work today?" My mom asked.
"No. I don't really feel like it."
She turned to give me a scolding gaze. "You know you can't just avoid him."
"I know, and I'm not trying to. I'm just too emotionally drained to read right now. Especially any romance novels."

My mom finished breakfast and set our food out in front of us. "Well, drained or not, you can't just mope around and avoid work until he goes on tour."
"I know."
"You think he'll still go on tour?" Larren asked.
"Yeah. Why wouldn't he?"
Larren smirked. "You could always not publish his book."
I smiled back and shook my head. "I'm not gonna do that. I'm not shallow. Besides, critics have already read and reviewed his book. He's already getting good ratings, and he's promoting, so people know it's coming."
"When is his release party?" My mom asked as she sipped the coffee I prepared earlier this morning.
"I don't know. Adrienne is going to schedule it."
"Why? Isn't that something you do?"
I shook my head. "No, not always. She's working with him to promote his book, so it's more in her field. The release parties are just always held at the company so we don't have to pay for a venue."

"Are you gonna go?" Larren asked.
I shrugged. "I don't know. I don't even know if I'll be invited."
"It's at your company. You're having his book published, why wouldn't you be invited?" She continued.
"That's not what I mean. I mean...Shawn may not want me to be there. And I may not want to be there."
"Beyoncé, why are you so hell bent on avoiding that man? I get that he hurt you, but there has to be something else."
I sighed and closed my eyes. "I don't want to see him with her."
"He's already established that they weren't together."
"But that doesn't mean that they won't be together."
My mother frowned. "What makes you think he will be with her?"
I felt my tears coming again. "I don't know."
The two of them were quiet for a while as my tears fell. "Why are you upset?" My mom finally asked in a soft voice.
Even though I knew she knew the answer to that question, I still started to answer. Before I could though, Larren spoke.
"Because she loves him."
I was just going to say that I care about him, but I couldn't argue with my sister. She was right.