The Citrus Syndrome

PAMPHLET : THE CITRUS SYNDROME

"Citizens of America, a terrible virus ravages our streets today. This venomous monster spares no one -- young, old, woman or child. It is important that you learn what this monster is and how to defend yourself against it. Please read the following pamphlet in order to save yourselves and your families." -Dr. Catherine Richardson

I) Introduction To The Disease

A : Medical Name - The Citrus Syndrome

Common Names - TCS, Lime Fever

B : Causes - Communicable, Causes unknown

C : Transmission - The Citrus Syndrome is transmitted through fear. One's fear may inspire another's, thus causing a chain reaction of infections. Ex: One infected party may be afraid of the dark. They may pass the disease on to another who fears the night. This party may then hand off the disease to another who is afraid of the full moon, etc. One infected with TCS may share a hallucination with an uninfected party, thus transmitting the disease to this second person.

D : Definition - The Citrus Syndrome (also known as Lime Fever) is a communicable disease that causes fear and anxiety strong enough to become real to infected parties via detailed hallucinations and psychologically torturous nightmares. The disease is particularly deadly because of its two stages: physical and psychological.

II) Symptoms

A : Physical Symptoms -

-Vomiting

-Chills

-Sweats

-Fatigue

-Abdominal pains

-Hot flashes

-Fever

-Muscle aches

-Bleeding (Internal and external)

-Coughing

-Headache

-Nausea

-Rash

-Sudden weight loss

B : Psychological Symptoms -

-Hallucinations

-Suicidal thoughts

-Chronic anxiety

-Panic attacks

-Mood Swings

-Inability to distinguish reality 

B : Quality Of Life - TCS makes life miserable for the victim. It is called The Citrus Syndrome because sufferers often feel as though citric acid is burning in their stomachs at all times. TCS may result in lack of sleep, loss of appetite, and extreme weight loss, all of which can lead to other complications.

III) Treatment

A : How To Cope - Never leave a TCS victim alone. Being without other people will not cure the syndrome, but it does help to tolerate symptoms.

B : Doctor's Recommendation - A long-time sufferer of TCS may benefit from talk therapy. Anxiety medication may also be prescribed to help make symptoms more tolerable.

IV) Prevention

A : Preventative Measures - To prevent getting TCS, it is recommended that you avoid infected persons whom you do not know well. You should become well acquainted with your own fears, as well as the phobias of others around you. Stick close to others with fears that have no connection to your own. Ex. If one is afraid of heights and another fears airplanes, it is recommended that these individuals keep their distance from each other.

B : Difficulty With Prevention - TCS, when it comes down to it, is in the hands of nature and our brains. It is difficult to Prevent, as that would require each man to know himself through and through, and that is an unreasonable goal.

V) Epidemiology

A : Susceptibility - Anyone with pre-existing mental disease is more susceptible to TCS. Extra mental/emotional stress may increase risk as well. Pregnant, menstruating, and/or hormonal women are more susceptible. Being in love is also a risk factor.

B : Commonality & Origin - TCS originated in Dallas, Texas and is rapidly spreading throughout North America's South Western regions such as Mexico, and southern American states. The disease is expected to reach the Northern regions of the USA very quickly and spread to the rest of Central America.