One Sided Love ➵ Carl Grimes Gay

VI. ➵ bravado

May 19th

'Your shirt is on backwards'

'I-it is?'
I furrow my eyebrows, looking down at my torso.
'Oh my gracious, I'm so nervous'

'Why is that?'

'Because he's a boy'
I sigh, slipping my arms out of the shirt holes to turn it around.
'A boy that I like'

'Have you never had a crush before?'

'I wasn't exactly the rising star ever in my life, Mark'

'But you're adorable'

'But I have anxiety and I'm awkward'
Bucking my seat belt, I sit back against the seat and look over at the steering wheel.
'I'm not contagious, but for some reason, people always tend to act like I am'

'Seriously?'

'Yeah, I mean they don't do it now, but that's because of papa'
I shake my head, covering my face with my hands.
'He's the scary badass, so everyone drops to their knees to obey him and make sure I'm safe and protected'

He's quiet for a moment before he looks over at me briefly.
'Pretend I'm Carl'

'What?'

'Pretend I'm Carl, have a conversation with me'

'But I already know you'

'So?'

'I'm familiar and comfortable around you, so this isn't a very good exercise'

He sighs.
'What are you gonna say to him?'

'I-I think I'll wave'

'You'll wave?'
He chuckles.

'Well, yeah'
I nod.
'Waving is friendly, right?'

'It's a little old fashioned, but, yes'

'Okay, good'
I say, lazily roaming my eyes around the dashboard.
'Papa says I blush a lot, that's not true, right?'

He's quiet, a silent smirk plastering his face.

'Oh, Mark! Come on!'

'You... yeah, you blush a lot'

'O-oh! Here! Turn here!'

'I'm turning, bud'

'I'm shaking'
I mumble, looking down at my unsteady hands.
'I'm gonna look so stupid'

'Or you'll look cute as always and do just fine'

'I don't ever do just fine'
I sigh.
'I'm a train wreck'

'I don't believe that'
He chuckles.
'Come on, Ry, you're pretty put together-- have you seen some of the survivors in the world?'