Brother Blood

Chapter 1: night terrors

Welcome back! 

I woke up in a sweat, sitting up right on my bed. Grant glanced up from his book with a frown.

"Sorry," I said, wiping my forehead. "I'm fine."

"The only one you're fooling in this house is yourself," Grant remarked. "I'm awake anyway, Conor. You can talk to me."

He set his book down and perched on the end of my bed. My pack had not been happy about the sleeping arrangements, but I hadn't been sleeping well since New Mexico and I didn't want them to worry. Grant didn't actually sleep anymore, and I didn't want to wake everyone when I startled awake.

"There's nothing to talk about," I sighed. "I don't remember the dreams. Just the rage. The feeling of being totally out of control. It scares me."

"We could go hunting," Grant suggested. "It would take your mind off things."

He hopped up and opened the window. "Come on. It's a perfect fall night."

"I can't shift so soon after full moon."

Grant tsked at me and climbed out the window. I pulled my shirt off and followed him. Grant's pale skin shone in the moonlight as we crept through the farm towards the creek. There was a slight breeze; I could hear rabbits and other creatures rustling about in the woods.

"What are we hunting?" Grant inquired.

I closed my eyes, breathing in deeply. My human nose was not as accurate, but I had some idea where to start.

"Deer," I said with a grin.

Grant groaned, but followed me into the woods. He had learned how to be quick and silent faster than expected; I shouldn't have been surprised. Grant was a full vampire now, and while he wasn't fully in control of his own abilities, he wasn't human any more. The change hadn't affected his appearance as much as I had expected, but his face was more angular, more predatory. His eyes stayed their hazel color unless he hadn't eaten in a while, but he was good about sneaking out into the woods for that.

"Mel was going to grill tomorrow," Grant mused. "She's not going to be happy if we're full."

"Please, Brian and Aidan would be more than happy to eat our share," I scoffed. "And I thought we could just catch and release."

"Okay."

Before everything that had happened, I would have considered the forest to be a quiet place. But now having experienced the desolate desert, the forest was alive and roaring with activity. I appreciated it more, the ability to stalk between the tree trunks unseen, the smell of a thousand creatures and plants living around me. I didn't want to take advantage of that again.

"Have you talked to Ralph and Mel yet?" Grant asked.

"Not really," I said. "They know the gist of what happened. I don't want to worry them."

"Conor, everyone is worried about you," he countered. "You need to tell them everything."

"I let her go," I said. "Knowing she could find me and hurt them, knowing that she was going to hurt others. Knowing what she made you do."

"She didn't make me do anything," Grant interrupted. "And I've told them my part in New Mexico."

I didn't respond, noting the flurry of activity away from us. We were scaring the game. Grant put his cold hand on my arm. I stopped, realizing that Grant hadn't actually come out here to hunt. His hazel eyes glimmered unnaturally as I turned to face him.

"You are not to blame for Stefa's actions," Grant told me. "It's been a month, Conor. You cannot keep this up. Talk to Ralph and Mel and get this weight of your shoulders. Your pack loves you, but they can't help you if you don't talk to them."

"I still love her," I whispered.

The whisper seemed loud in my own ears. Grant squeezed my arm.

"I want to hate her, because then I think I could forget her, but I can't. I can't hate her. I need to forget her to.... I have this ache in my chest, is that normal? I say her name, and it's like something is squeezing my heart."

"You loved her," he pointed out. "It's going to hurt. You trusted her, and she betrayed that trust. It's not fair, but it is normal, I promise. And the pain will fade."

He smiled and clapped me on the back. "Let's go back. You look exhausted, and I was in the middle of my book."

We began walking back the way we came.

"How are you doing?" I asked.

He shrugged. "As well as to be expected. Out of control, angry. It helps that all of you could throw me to the ground and use me as a toothpick, if you could catch me that is."

"Brian did yesterday," I pointed out.

"He did, didn't he?" Grant laughed. "I'm grateful you didn't leave me behind. I am coming to terms with what I am, I don't have to be happy about it, but at least I'm not alone."

We emerged from the woods. Mel was standing on the porch, watching us come in. I couldn't tell if she was upset from this distance. She hadn't grown as much as Ralph had in the shift, and she was definitely the most uncomfortable with her werewolf side. Still, she was our alpha and she watched over us with a matronly eye.

"Did you catch anything?" she asked when we got closer.

"No, but we weren't exactly quiet," Grant said. "I'll see you in the morning, Conor."

He was giving me the chance to speak to Mel privately. I nodded, sitting on the edge of the porch with my legs dangling off the side. Grant slipped into the house, leaving me with Mel.

"Grant says I should talk to you about what happened," I said.

"He's a smart boy," Mel noted, sitting next to me. "So?"

"I don't really know where to begin," I admitted.

"Grant told us that Stefa stole his supply of your blood and tricked him into drinking human blood," she said. "And he slaughtered most of the hunters himself. He didn't explain what happened with you and Stefa."

"She used my blood to withstand daylight," I said, unable to bring myself to say her name. "But that meant she followed my orders. I got Grant to drink my blood, brought him back from whatever happened and then order her to leave me and Grant alone. I let her go. She got dozens of people murdered violently and I just let her go."

"Conor, we could even tell on the phone; you loved this woman," Mel pointed out. "And I wish I could feel more sorry about it, but they were hunters, and I don't think it was a great loss. Look what they did to you, what they were doing to Grant. Guilt is only going to eat away at the good you've done, Conor. You rescued Susie Lynn, you protected this pack and you saved Grant. You have nothing to feel guilty for. So stop it."

She squeezed me in a hug and I noted, not for the first time, how much stronger she was now. The farm was flourishing under her guidance: our fences had been fixed and reinforced, our chickens and guineas happy. They had purchased new cows for the creekside pasture, and the garden Mel had created was growing under careful tending. We were doing well, despite everything that had happened here.

"If you're going to the market in the morning then you should probably get back to bed," Mel remarked, yawning herself. "It's a long drive with Keith and Casey. Promise me you'll make sure they don't eat all the breakfast tacos. Ralph just lets them."

"We're growing werewolves," I offered.

"No one is grow upwards besides Susie Lynn," Mel snorted. "Anyway, to bed with you, Conor. See you in a couple hours."

"Thank you, Mel."

"Anytime, Conor. You know you can talk to us about anything."

I made my way back to my room. Grant was reading again, though this time sitting on the bed. He scooted over as I crawled into the covers.

"Goodnight," I yawned and was asleep.