Two Friends. {JOSHLER}

6

Tyler's POV

Troye ended up having a punctured kidney from the beatings his dad gave him, but got released from the hospital the next day, and his dad got put in jail for child abuse, then everything was back to normal. Him and Connor made it official and they couldn't have been happier.

And all I could think about was Josh and I. If we were going to be more than just friends.

Brendon and Ryan had been keeping to themselves for the past couple days, and everyone had started to get suspicious. They aren't the type of people to stay away from the attention.

Monday crept up on us like a bullet. Which meant school. But the friend circle, as Josh had called it, all had their classes together, which never happened. Literally every single class we were together. It was very strange, but we loved it.

My alarm clock went off, and I threw it across the room, which shut it up. I rubbed my tired eyes and sat up, yawning deeply. I stood up, walked to my bathroom, and looked in the mirror at my reflection.

My face was red, not just a little bit, but a lot. It wasn't a sunburn, it was the middle of August, but I didn't know what it was from, but I shook it off anyway. My eyes were also red, not too red, but red enough. I needed to shave and I just looked terrible overall. No one had mentioned to me how bad I had looked, which concerned me.

I washed my face, put on a t-shirt and skinny jeans, and headed downstairs for breakfast. All of my siblings and parents were sitting around the table, waiting for me to say the pray. I sat down, all eyes on me, and started to pray.

"Thank you, God, for this meal, for my family, for my friends. Thank you for blessing our food with your love. Amen!" They laughed, causing me to smile to myself. We digged in, talking occasionally. My parents kept on talking about Sage and Troye, as their parents were a family friend, and I tried my best to block them out because I didn't really want to talk about him even though he was fine.

We arrived at school and carried on with our days. The friend circle did their daily routine while the time flew by. Connor seemed to had already be looking into colleges; something that the rest of us hadn't yet. Troye and I were the only juniors so they still had another year yet to figure out the rest of their lives.

"Yeah, I'm thinking about majoring in business, maybe like an entrepreneur," he told us as we sat down at our usual lunch table. The morning went by in the blink of an eye. "I don't know. Have my own business, something like that." He kept on rambling on about photography and vlogging, I wasn't really paying attention.

"So in other words, you want to be famous," Ryan said, and Connor nodded. "How?"

He thought for a second, then said, "Wait, were you even listening to what I was saying earlier?" He shook his head, laughing when Connor seemed disappointed. "I want to be a youtuber. Create a fan base, have my own business, and be a photographer."

"Wow, seems like you have your entire life planned out." Brendon finally spoke, sighing deeply.

"What's your problem?" Ryan asked him, and he glared at him.

"You should know." For some reason, he was upset about something. Soemthing that had to do with Ryan, I assumed.

He stood up hastily, pushing his tray in front of him, and stomped out of the lunchroom and down the hall. Ryan was staring at his feet the entire time.

"What was that all about?" Josh asked, and Ryan shrugged.

"He's upset because his girly dumped him, and then he blamed it on me because he thought I had something to do with it."

"Well do you?" Troye asked, and he shook his head.

"No! I would never do something like that to him. He thought she was cheating on him with me, because I haven't been talking to him recently, so. . ." He looked away, staring at the other kids in the room. It was noisy with all of the conversations they were having, and the lunch ladies seemed miserable.

"Why haven't you been talking to him?" I asked.

"Because after what happened at Kara-Okay, I got real upset with him for getting drunk on us. It was supposed to be a fun night, but you can never take him anywhere. He tried to defend himself, saying it was a bad habit and he couldn't help himself, but I called it bullshit."

We were quiet for awhile. Brendon never acted this way, especially around Ryan. They had a friendship that put other relationships to shame.

"He was being mean and I tried to stop him. I thought he was drunk again, which he probably was. He's messed up and needs some serious help."

"He wouldn't go to a rehab, even if his life depended on it," Connor said, which was true. Brendon would never go to such a place. If we told him that we wanted him to go, then he would assume that we don't trust him, which is the last thing we want. Brendon was hard to persuade when it came to doing the right thing.

"I just. . . don't want him to hate me for something I didn't do," Ryan said sadly, leaving the table with his half eaten food and dumped it out, then left the room as well down the direction Brendon went. Maybe he was going to try to get his best friend back.

-

Josh and I spent the rest of the day together after school let out. We stayed in his room, on our phones, talking occasionally. He invited me over for something to do but boredom quickly filled in the gaps between us.

After what happened between Brendon and Ryan, we were all upset. Having a break in the friend circle was one thing, but not talking at all was another. We were never quiet, ever, and I quickly became depressed, something I hadn't been for awhile now. 

Josh somehow seemed to help my depression, but not on days like this. Days like these were the worst, no interaction with each other soon left me lonely. I always have had depression, but not as bad as I have it now.

My relationship with Josh wasn't really helping either. He didn't want to make things official, but he tried to stay away from me for some reason. He wouldn't let me show any kind of affection in public towards him, which made me upset and mad and curious as to why.

"Why won't you let me love you?" I asked him hesitantly, not knowing what to say. He looked up from his phone.

"What do you mean?"

"You love me, don't you?" I asked, and he looked me straight in the eye.

"Of course I do. Why?"

"Then why won't you let me love you?" I asked again, and he sat up more.

He took a deep breath. "Because I don't know what love is. I've never been in love."

I smiled slightly, then said, "Well, I can show you a couple things then." I took his face in my hands and kissed him deeply, him eventually kissing me back. He wrapped his arms around my body, tracing my spine with his forefinger while we kissed.

Soon he was on top of me, tugging at my shirt. I ripped it off as he took of his, and I felt my fingers trace his abs. So hard, so beautiful.

Like him.

He started biting at my neck, which made me moan. He was obviously dominate at the moment, but I decided to twist it up.

I pushed him off of me, him falling next to me on his bed and climbed on top of him, kissing him over and over again. I loved the feel of his lips on mine, the taste, the everything.

I didn't want to take things too far, so we didn't. We kept our pants on (sooorrrrrryyy), just kissing.

That all it was. I swear.

I had never felt so free, so capable of everything, and I loved it.

I loved Josh Dun, and nothing could change that.

a/n: ugh i hated writing that sorry it was totally awkward ik ugh