I should tell you

Chapter 8

"Why that, now? It's useless. Stay, it doesn't matter. You can help me to choose the right cereal."

"Okay, then. But, I, um... Okay, I know you've had to put up with so many of my idiosyncrasies, but I must brush my teeth. Like... now."

Sheldon had some curious expression on his face that Becky couldn't really interpret. He just said to her "Wait here." and disappeared into his room. A few seconds later, he reappeared with a brand new toothbrush.

Becky could only smile at him.

She got out of the bathroom, refreshed and clean. Sheldon was making pancakes.

"I thought you said you were eating cereal."

"No, since I have a guest, I am making pancakes. And I must say I learnt this recipe with my MeeMaw. Although I'll never best her in anything, my pancakes are delightful."

She was hypnotized, watching him flipping the pancakes. He realized it and was enjoying being so humbly admired.

"If your Grandma's pancakes are even better than yours, then wow... I must confess I am beyond happy for being such a bad influence on you. I mean, by messing up your whole schedule and whatnot." She said, tasting them.

"Care for some syrup?" he said, handing her the bottle.

"I am so happy you missed your work today... I mean, it was my fault all right, but it's good when at least one day in your life makes sense..."

He didn't know what to say to that and they just ate in silence. After washing the dishes, they sat on the sofa and Sheldon began:

"What are you saying, about your life not making sense? I could only grasp that much."

"Um. Oh. I say you particularly grasped everything. But I suppose nobody's life does."

He was still there, staring at her, expectant.

"What the hell do you want me to say?! And stop throwing me those looks! I worked my ass out to get a college degree. Now I work in a lame restaurant. All I did was, basically, for nothing. But you wouldn't know that, because you are an Einstein."

"You know nothing of my life. And neither of Einstein's, so it seems."

"I do love your witty remarks. Of course 'I know nothing of your life', duh, am I a psychic or, something?"

"Why are you attacking me?" he asked, blatantly indignant.

"I... Um. I am not attacking you. I'm sorry. It seems I'm always apologizing to you. I know it's hard to believe, but I love you."

He didn't exactly hate when she did that, but it surely got awkward...

"I made you uncomfortable. And I can't apologize... again. Now, what?"

"If you were not attacking me, who were you attacking, then?"

"Good question. No one in particular, I suppose."

"And what happened for you to become so unhappy?"

"Um... Wow. You're pretty straightforward, aren't you? One shouldn't ask such dangerous questions... One may not be prepared to hear the answers..."

"It's not only morbid curiosity, although the major part, in fact, is. I'm frankly curious to know what makes of you an... 'Idiosyncratic individual'."

"Wow, you have a way to convince! Okay. Well, I've always been quite introvert, okay, not 'quite', extremely introvert and the kids wherever usually gave me a hard time. The reasons don't even matter, they were as preposterous as inconstant. But my mother, for some reason beyond my understanding, always believed I was so good for everyone and everything, so good that I should even become a model. I can't even begin to describe her disappointment when I received that letter from Harvard. I mean, she had nearly everything she wanted for me arranged. By this time, I could be talking to some of those phonies, like, the really famous ones, such as Kate Moss, if she is still alive. Where was I. Um, so apparently, not only my Mother but everyone in Harvard seemed to have her very same opinion. Well, not everyone,just everyone I hated. People I mildly liked or tolerated would act normally towards me. But then, that God-forsaken Professor... Let's skip the details and say he crossed not a line, but at least, ten pages, in my notebook."

"My, what did he do?!"

"Oh, you were actually listening. I thought I lost you there. So, you probably chose to ignore the 'skip the details' part. He said he had to see me in his office and it was urgent. I bought it, there was no reason not to. After all, I was a top student and it was usual the Professors requesting me, most of the time. I'll just tell you he made me see things I definitely didn't want to have seen, at least not like that and he got, like... really insistent. He was twice my size, but I managed to escape as... 'intact' as I could. Thanks to another student's bad-timing, by the way... He seemed to have an urge to 'see' students, you know..."

"My God! And what did you do?!"

"I did exactly what he told me to: kept my mouth shut. That, or I would have lost my scholarship. And I thought about reporting him, for a long time, considering the huge fight I had with my Mother because of my 'bad decision'. We weren't even talking to each other, so I didn't bother to call her and cry my heart out. Anyway, there was no use and would only have made things worse."

"You should have reported him! Tell me who he is, now, and I'll call the university and solve this situation!"

"Shel, don't be naïve. You probably don't go out much, do you? The world doesn't work that way."

"I went to a university as well and stayed there for a long time, longer than you. No teacher tried to rape me, or any other student, for that matter!"

"Not that you are aware of."

"No. I am sure of it."

"Okay, if it makes you feel better."

"Becky, I am on your side. There is no reason for you to talk to me like that."

"I know. I must go, before I start apologizing again. Maybe I should give you a damn recorder. Then you could only play the words. Haha, now, how about that?"

"I'm the one who should be sorry, Becky. I should have listened to you and stopped insisting when you said you didn't want to proceed with the subject any further. So, I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'll be fine." she replied, standing up to leave.

"There, there." He got up, and hugged her, awkwardly. He hesitated even further, for not knowing how much he was intruding. But she hugged him back, tighter, reciprocating even more than what he was trying to give.

She let him explore the small of her back as much as he wished, feeling shivers and nearly fainting. 'Too intense for just less than a month...', she thought.

She crushed her lips to his without caring for logic or the consequences and pushed him to the sofa. He was quite losing his balance and whatever little control he still had left, but if she didn't care, neither did he. He would be led into her world, wide-eyed.

Sheldon felt like some sparkle was pulsing within... He felt like bare electricity in her hands. Suddenly, that appalling book Leonard had given him that day was nothing but a pitiful and useless, distant memory...

Oh, it was nothing like that at all. It was probably not even possible to crack the code of something that magical.