Baby's Breath

Chapter 32: vow

My mouth fell open. I was speechless. All I knew was that chlamydia was an awful STD "How? I mean, yeah, how?"

Audra stretched out on the floor and propped her head with her hand. I stared at her finger as she traced a circle in my carpet. The only way she could've caught it was either she'd had sex with other guys, or Rick with other girls, giving it to her.

"I'm so stupid, Jess. How could I trust him? It was only once we had unprotected sex. Once. Mom was gone and so was Josh, and Rick was over. We had snuck the liquor from Stan's cabinet. We were so into each other. He begged me to stop using stupid condoms and foam—whatever it is that I use. I refused to not use spermicide, but I okayed ditching the condom. Oh, Jess, how stupid can I be?"

She dropped her head to the carpet and cried. I stared at her, at a loss for what I could do. She needed to cry it out and I didn't want to move, my body hurt like crazy.

"I trusted him, Jess. I trusted him. After we had sex, he started laughing. I mean laughing so hard, it scared me. I rushed to put my clothes on and he gave me the dirtiest look saying that I had nothing worth hiding from him and that I was a stupid whore."

"What?" How devastating! He'd always been sweet, attentive. The memories of how worried he was when I was hurt with glass came back to me, along with every other one that disproved Audra's accusation. "When did this happen?" My eyes watered and I sniffed back the tears.

"Remember how I told you that Rick was acting strange?" I had been taking a nap and I was angry with her. I rolled my lips between my teeth and nodded. "It's 'cause he was cheating on me."

"That long?" I ran my fingers through her hair, regret washing over me. "I'm so sorry, Audra. And I didn't text you back." She was going to be ticked at what I was going to ask next. "You haven't had it with anyone else besides Rick?"

She jerked her head up, her gaze fiery. "No. Rick is the only person I have. How can you ask that?"

I pressed my lips together with a sigh. "Well, easy. You had no problem being the way you were with me."

"Fine, I guess I deserved that. But what am I going to do? I'm so sick!" She shook her head, her hands clamping her hair as she bowed her head into them.

"Have you gone to the doctor? How bad is it?"

"I don't mean it that way! I have an appointment next week and yes, I am physically sick, but what I meant is what am I going to do about Rick? I'm still in love with him!"

My jaw hardened at her hostility and I grew one of my own. "Well," I said, wobbling to my feet, "at least you can go to the doctors and heal from it."

"You're a jerk, Jessica."

"Well, you are too. You aren't the only one who needs medical attention. You aren't the only one who's broken-hearted. How could you forget so easily?"

"But Josh never called you a whore, or laughed at you."

"No, he didn't. You're right." I sat on the bed and nibbled my hangnails off. Babykins kicked my ribs and I smiled at his antics. "He did worse."

"I can't believe you." Audra stood, straightening her clothes. "I came to you for help, and all you do is condemn me."

"It's a whole lot better than how you treated me." I folded my arms and pursed my lips, feeling defensive, yet too tired to care anymore.

She gave me a pained look wrapped with disgust.

"Look, Audra, we're both hurting. Did you know that Josh wanted me to get rid of the baby? He never apologized, not once did he call or text—nothing—to see how I'm doing with his baby. Then he gets back together with Tara?"

"You aren't the only one with problems, okay? Rick hurt me, both inside and out. I'm bleeding. It hurts so much—physically, though I wish my heart wasn't broken."

"So," I couldn't hide the little smile, "what you're saying is that we need each other."

Audra stood there, a parade of emotion crossing her face. "Of course."

I walked, more like waddled, to her and opened my arms. "I'm sorry for what he's done to you, girl. I really am. No one deserves to be hurt like that." It sounded like a silly notion, really, but I rocked her like a mom with her baby.

"Let's make a vow," she said, pulling away from me, but kept her hands on my elbows. When I didn't answer, but opened my eyes wider with interest, she said, "Let's never be stupid and let boys get in the way again."

"Ever again?" I couldn't help but smile. I doubted Josh would be a problem, he was back with Tara . . .

"Ever again." We hugged,and just as she moved away, she said, "By the way, Josh says he misses yousomething terrible."