Random Wonderments!

Rant .... & A Random Question!!

Announcement: Shout out to @HumorGurl who made a very beautiful cover of this rant book for me, I'd say, Go and follow her, check out her works, she is one amazing, cute and kind person... :')))) 

Thank you so much once again Rachy for this cover... :')

@all Check out this song on the cover.. ^^ 

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Hmm... So, I was thinking, thinking and thinking.... that.... something was missing from my first/previous chapter of this book... I realized it later, what I had forgotten... >.>

To add quotes in the beginning, I love to add quotes, inspirational, reality based. Reality; what we don't want to see usually, inspiration; that is hard to get...

Quote of the day,

"I hide my all problems behind my smile. Behind my smile is a world of pain. You think you know me, but you have no idea..." ~Unknown.

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Seriously? You guys think I seem so happy, always high, always cheerful, you don't have any idea about how I feel when I smile, when I laugh just to make you guys smile, just to pretend--- I'm happy, a lot, a lot happier than others.

But I'm done, I'm done lying, I'm done caring about others, about my friends and why do I? No, seriously, why do I? Does anyone care about me? Does anyone ask me, how was I, how I dealt with that thing,-- that thing or---- that thing?

I bet, they don't even have any idea what I'm dealing with. Dealing with self, always thinking about killing myself and still waking up safe & sound next day, y'know how hard it is? You'll laugh, no, laugh!--- laugh at my misery! I want to see you laughing that's what I've done my whole life. I've always embarrassed myself, taking myself for granted. I'd never been honest with myself, with others, with my friends, if I'd said straight at their faces that what they'd done, so maybe.... maybe they'd have known me, they'd have understood me. 

My Another Talent, I seriously have a tendency to beautifully fuck up things and then cry a river over them... What I did today? What I do lately? I don't even know what has gotten into me, I don't have any idea what I've become, I don't want to hurt them, I don't want them to hate me.. But I do, I do exactly same, I hurt them, make them hate me and they intentionally/unintentionally hate me. I want others to love me, but they don't. When I need someone especially my friends, I have no one to count on.

That's why, I told you guys, & again telling you... I'm not a good person and what made me bad is you people, this world, even both worlds, my real life and Wattpad life. I was a very good person before, imagining things in a beautiful way, fantasizing things that everyone is a good person, everyone loves me, my friends loves me, they can fight my enemies with me or behind me.. But in actual, they have always betrayed me, they were my real enemies, they never fight for me, but they had always fight with me, they had always been against me. 

Ha! How wrong I was, when reality hit me, it hit harder than I'd imagined. 

I sometimes think I'm bipolar, I don't know I don't go to psychologists, therapists. I don't share things, most of the time I just think about things and silently weep. Is that wrong?

I don't know what else to say, that's it for now..... I'll come back later with another rant.. Till then, stay tuned... xD 

Now it's the time for a little question from you guys. Leave your opinions or answers in comments, I'll most probably share mine in the next part. :')

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Random Question,

Q) Why people think that leaving wattpad will solve their real life problems? Share your honest opinions.

-Fatima

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