Fall in May

~10~ The Butcher of San Fall

"Uh...huh." The monster grunts malevolently.

Great, so not only is this guy a monster, now he's an unhappy monster. The only upside of this exchange is that I'm apparently not the only one in this class that Or'sir has in his shit sights in academia. 

"With that said, and being that this is the first-day orientation?" Or'sir checks the clock against his obviously more precise watch.  "It would seem that we have twenty-seven minutes to waste until the next bell."

"So while my esteemed assistant Miss Lee takes roll, you may take this opportunity to get to know your new neighbors." His enmity eyes hood ever so slightly. "Due note this will be the last time I will tolerate free talking time in my class. So be forewarned, the next time I catch you chatting among yourselves or passing notes, there will be a price to pay." He smiles and holds up his handy-dandy angry orange detention pad of doom. As if to prove he's a total petty little tyrant, just in case anyone missed that point the first time around.

"I should not have to say this to a class of Juniors...but do not ever be late to my class." His evil little eyes narrow into cruel slits. "For I will not hesitate an instant to write you up. So should you be insipid enough to attempt to justify yourself, with anything other than an official signed excuse? I will immediately send you off to the main office forthwith, for the remainder of the period."

Maybe it's just my imagination, but I get the distinct feeling that he is purposefully trying to mess with me and the monster leatherhead. Cause I swear his eyes lock directly onto the back corner boys as if to say, "Yes Spicoli, that means you too!"

"You may now commence speaking quietly among yourselves." He does that lame Captain Star Trek engage finger swipe thing, that totally relates to the cool kids so well.

On cue, the super skinny jeans guy sitting in front of me immediately bolts up and goes right after the bathroom pass. I chance a glance at the girl on the other side of me, who immediately turns away and starts pulling at her long ponytail. I mentally name her Sit and Spin, because that's pretty much all she ever does in class. She never takes notes, she doesn't talk, she just sits there with her obsession. Spinning the end of her ponytail around her fingers looking for split ends ...over and over and over again. 

So with no one dumb enough to sit in front of the monster to talk to it, I do a rare thing in my life. I actually initiate a non-hostile dialogue with a complete psychopath.

"So you play football, yeah?" I nod towards his tiny little shiny oblong pin on top of the big F on his leatherman jacket. I have to wonder why it's just an F, and not an SF for San Fallcon?

"So you stupid new, or just stupid something sport?" The monster snorts in retort.

"Yeah." I counter back evenly, already kicking myself for starting this convoke.

"Yeah, huh?" The monster slowly swivels around the big brick block that passes for his head, and glares at me with one eye wide. He slowly blinks back his ice-blue eyes, as if he has just realized that we haven't actually been going to school together for the last two years ...which obviously we haven't.

"Well, then that sucks for you new guy, cause San Fall sux ass." He judges correctly.  

Okay, so that's something we can both agree on.

"Yeah, pretty much." I nod slowly as if somehow this is news to me.

"Butchy." He juts his thick chin and thumps his barrel chest once where his name is stitched into his jacket.

Of course, the monster has to be named Butchy. I'm just not quite sure if this is a name or his personal preference? I am so sorely tempted to name him "Bitchy" instead. But Butchy Barnes is clearly a very large and intimidating guy, so I decide it's just not worth the chance that I might accidentally slip someday and get killed.