Carousel {Michael Jackson Love Story} [with NEW, additional chapter 6]

Chapter 7 - Personal and Private

Naked before him in the bath, I undressed him. Kneeling at his feet I stroked down the insides of his lower legs, closed my fingers around his ankles, lifted him off the ground and loosened the loafers off his heels. Much like lifting the hooves of a horse. I felt his eyes resting on my bare back. It wasn't sexual, just personal and private.

I carefully and orderly put his shoes aside before rising to him again. Slowly but without hesitation I continued with the buttons of his shirt, first the cuffs, then the buttoned panel. I pulled the white fabric out of his waistband. Walking around him I took it off his shoulders, slipped it off him, one sleeve at a time, never leaving him, my fingers gliding down his arms as the shirt revealed his skin inch by inch, touching the destroyed areas on his elbows, his lower arms, his wrists.

It was silent in the room. No-one was speaking. Nothing could be heard other than our breathing and the rustle of clothes being removed.

I put the shirt away and went on with the t-shirt that he wore in place of an undershirt. It didn't cling to him like an undershirt would have, but it had a fairly narrow cut. As I pulled the soft, warm cloth from his pants and slid it up his body, I felt the firm muscles of his back and stomach under my hands.

His back was almost unaffected by the disease, his shoulder blades moving under his coffee-coloured skin as he slipped the t-shirt from his arms. But in and around his arm pits all the colour was gone.

He had it on his chest, too, around the nipples, in random places across his ribcage, his belly. I put my hands on him, touching all those areas. Looking at them closely, they weren't so bad, just skin with no colour. But his heart was beating fast.

I went down on my knees again, slipped my hands into his pant legs taking off his socks. His feet were like his hands, the colour of his skin torn at the joints and around the nails.

When I touched his belt he took a deep breath. I briefly looked up at his eyes, then back down at where my hands worked on the buckle. I put my arms around his waist to pull the belt out of his pants. My face came so close to his that our cheeks almost touched. I felt his breath on my skin, the warmth radiating from his chest, the firm leather of his belt between my fingers. But it came loose easily, and he watched me roll it up and lay it down next to his shoes.

Then I put my fingers inside his waistband that was tight against his skin and opened the button. I carefully pulled down the zipper, revealing his undergarment. Slowly I pulled his slacks down the length of his legs. Obediently, he stepped out of them. With his knees it was the same as with his elbows. It seemed as if the dark of his skin was but an outer layer, a fabric broken, paint splintered and rubbed off by use.

When I touched his undergarment he closed his eyes. He looked defeated. Gently, I removed it. It was as he had said. He had it everywhere. His groin area was affected, as well as his private parts.

He stood before me naked. He was a grown man, altogether well built, slender and muscular from doing a largely physical job, so in itself that wasn't really a big deal. But he was more naked than any man should be. He wasn't only bare of his clothes - I could even look through his skin.

He wasn't looking at me but up at the far corner of the bath, his jaw was tight, his eyes were glistening.

I came near, near to his face, his jaw; I touched his shoulders and felt them rigid. He still looked passed me.

"Michael..." I whispered.

"I know it!" he hissed between clenched teeth. "I see it every day. I see it getting worse every day. It's terrible. Horrible!"

"Michael, please," I begged, suddenly afraid he might bolt. "Michael, please. Please, don't run. Please don't leave me here. Please, don't do that. Not now. Michael." My voice dropped to a whisper again. "Michael, I slept with you. I had you inside me. I have your sperm inside me now. Don't run from the room!"