No Love Needed [BOYxBOY]

Chapter 18: Smile For Me

"I see..." I say to break the silence. Quinton then sits up straight and slightly turns toward me, staring at me attentively.

"I told him the feelings I had. Spoke to him about the crazy plans I've been involved in. Even mentioned that I was unsure what I wanted my next move to be." He softly explains. I stare at him, trying to read what his next words may be, but his face left it a mystery. He seemed neither happy nor disappointed. I couldn't tell if he'd be telling me good things or bad things and it made me uneasy.

"So where is your mind at?" I ask.

"There's not a doubt in my mind that I'm feeling you deeply. You're smart, handsome, and got something going for yourself. You've been through shit because of your wealth and therefore you chase things that's not on your level. I wish that I had never even tried to help you with Dmitri because every night, it started driving me crazy that some lowlife may have gotten you." Quinton says letting it all pour out. My cheeks heat up and I know that I'm blushing in a very noticeable way. I look down away from Quinton and try to keep the smile on my face from growing bigger. He then grabs my chin and makes me face him again.

"Don't hide that smile...you don't have to hide it from me. That smile of yours brightens my day any time I see it. Your bubbly and loving personality and the ability to see the good in everyone else makes me adore you more." Quinton utters with that amazing smile of his.

"So...what do we do from here?" I ask shyly, blushing even more as I'm forced to look into his eyes. Quinton releases my chin and his face becomes very serious.

"Well, that is very well up to you. I care more about what you want, even if it's not me. Have you spoken to ole' dude?" He questions. I shake my head and sigh.

"I haven't spoken to Dmitri because he hasn't given me the chance to. I wanted to discuss what he really wants, which likely I know would've just led to me letting him go due to that answer." I answer. Quinton doesn't seem pleased with the answer but simply nods and remain silent. There's a long period of silence after that, making it seem very awkward.

"Do you think Dmitri cares for you?" He suddenly asks. In this instance, I don't know how to answer it. Despite Dmitri's bluntness and honesty, he has never overtly stated whether he cared for me or even had feelings. He's merely only said he would try. My silence makes Quinton shake his head.

"If you have to even question it, he may not care. The day at the park, Dmitri would have tried to get me in bed if I didn't shut him down. Any time I'm around, he's constantly checking me out, even with you there in front of him. Does that seem like someone who cares for you?" He questions, which painfully hits me like a brick.

"I don't know. I do know that Dmitri is an interesting character and like you said, I try to find the good in everyone. Maybe he doesn't know how to show love...maybe he never received it. I think I realize why I was so bent on trying to get him to date me, because I wanted him to see that love does exist out there for him." I suddenly say, probably coming off more abrasive than I hoped. Quinton looks at me surprised before looking down to his lap. "I'm sorry..." I mumble.

"No no...you were just coming from a good place. But look at this; you have a degree in psychology and you know how to dig into someone's psyche, however, you know that you can only help someone who wants help. Can he really be saved if he doesn't wanna be?" Quinton asks. I feel stumped at this point as I know Quinton is right. I can only pry as deep as a person will let me, and if Dmitri won't let the idea of love resonate in his mind, he will never get it until he allows it.

"One last talk. I'm set on it." I say, looking to Quinton. "I don't know when he'll respond to me, but I owe it to myself, if not anyone else, to feel like I closed this chapter in my life properly."

"I can respect that." Quinton mutters. "Just know I'll be here for you, regardless of how the conversation goes." He adds. I smile since this only reinforces why I believe Quinton is an amazing person. It might seem crazy that I even have to think about getting in a relationship with him, but no one can understand why I need to do what I need to do. It's just the psychologist in me I guess.

"Thank you, Quinton. I really appreciate you. You always make me feel amazing." I say.

"I'd do anything just to see you smile. It's really no problem..." He responds. I lean closer to him and just rest my head on his shoulder. Quinton looks at me and just sits there for a moment not saying anything.

"You OK?" I ask.

"I'll be fine. Honestly I think this talk went well...my frat brother was pretty accurate in how it might've went." Quinton says resting his head on the back of the couch. We just sat there together for the longest. No words, no movements, just us together sitting there. Although we were literally doing absolutely nothing, I was enjoying Quinton and I know he was enjoying me.

After probably 40 minutes of nothingness, Quinton and I decided to watch some movies and just chill out. It's like Quinton wasn't even trying anything in terms of kissing or messing around and I didn't mind it. Subconsciously, I think I was used to people making moves as soon as the opportunity came up. Though I was very humble and modest, I knew I had an amazing body and butt that was kinda big which is well sought after, so I knew guys were almost already planning to screw me the minute they lay eyes on me.

"What's that?" Quinton asks, pointing at my portfolio I had been reading before he came. I looked at it and reached to pick it up.

"It's my portfolio from undergrad. I forgot to mention I got a new internship so I was brushing up on some things. Figured with all the time I had and since I was starting graduate school at the end of the summer, I'd start working on my hours." I explain.

"That's cool. I'm really happy and proud of you." He said.

"Yeah, I had taken some time away from school, been just relaxing. But now I'm tired of sitting around. I don't need to work, but I kinda want to now, you know?"

"Mhm, working keeps you busy. Sometimes I wish I had a life where I didn't have to want for nothing, though. A life where I didn't have to struggle and worry about student loan debt or things like that. Just a life where my problems weren't financial." Quinton says.

"But there's always a price to pay in life. Mines is obviously the lack of loyal companionship..." I say trailing off. Quinton didn't take his eyes from the movie and just sat there. I scooted closer to him now and laid my head in his lap, staring up at him. "I mean, it's not impossible..." I then add. Quinton looks down at me and smiles.

"Andre..." He mumbles, looking directly at my lips now. I wasn't sure if he was about to make a move now but I was ready.

"Yes?" I respond, staring up at him still. We slowly start moving our faces closer but stop when there's a knock on the door. Quinton quickly raised his head back and looked at the door and I rolled off the couch unto the floor like a klutz.

"Ah...shit." I mutter. Quinton chuckles a little and motions to the door.

"You should get that." He says. I stand to my feet and compose myself. I was very disappointed that the kiss was interrupted but it's fine. It was odd that someone was here other than Quinton since no one really visited me often. With failed effort, I try to peek out the window to see who is there but they're standing off to the side. Suddenly they knock on the door again and I jump a little. I shake it off and open the door slowly to see Dmitri in all his glory.

"So are you going to stand there like an ass or are you gonna invite me in?" He asked with an arrogant smirk. I definitely wasn't expecting to see him right now.

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