Scarred Bloods (#2 Confused Cliche Love Series)

That's Where Romance Is

Chapter 17: That's Where Romance Is

"What do you plan to do, Blaze? Like- what do you imagine your future?" I stared at the wall in annoyance. That seemed to be the most popular question lately. Everyone wanted to know what I was going to major in. 'When was I going to go to college?'' What job do I want?' 'What do I have a passion for?' And every time I'm questioned I always come up blank. It's embarrassing to have everyone know that you're a loser. That you have absolutely no ambitions in life.

"I don't know Jax; I'm kind of just winging it." I answered dejectedly, I didn't really want to have converse about that topic. I especially didn't want to talk about it with him.

"You know eventually you're going to have to stop living off your parent's money. I'm sure they have a lot but what happens when it all runs out. You'll be a person made up of old money, of your parents worth- not your own." And he was right. Jax wasn't on the same class as me, he was more middle class. I was rich, beyond rich, and everyone I was close with was similar. I didn't know how it felt to have less than a million dollars in my bank account for free access. I was just used to having money. But it wasn't my money; I never worked a proper day in my life. And when I did try to have a small job I failed at it and got fired, multiple times. I just sucked at everything. But I knew there was going to be a time when my parents couldn't pay for me anymore, when I had to start supporting myself- I dreaded that day.

"What do you do for a living? What's your future?" There was a pause after that. Jax was silent; he seemed to be contemplating something. The whole while I had been avoiding looking at him but I finally turned. We were on his bed in our underwear. We were supposed to actually fuck today, he was finally ready. But for some reason I just couldn't do it. Now don't get me wrong, all I felt was pleasure when he touched me. I was sure if it were to happen it would have been great. But there was something stopping me, I just couldn't do it. No matter how much I wanted to. It was annoying. And I had to be in the mood to do things, if I'm not in the mood it always ended up a disaster.

So, anyway, I used his lame excuse and told him I still wanted to wait. I told him that I was developing real feelings for him, something I never experienced, and he felt special. He stopped everything and settled for cuddling. It felt weird, the only people I ever cuddled with were Brooke and... Jay. But I didn't want to think about him. When his name came up my stomach would get all queasy and I would start to feel happy for some reason. I didn't like it so lately I have tried to stop thinking about him and have been avoiding him all together. He didn't seem to like it but Mayne seemed to love it.

"I want to be a business man, like a lawyer or something in the advertising business. But right now I'm- I'm uh." My eyebrows scrunched as I watched him stutter over his words.

"You what? Spit it out." I muttered slightly aggravated, I couldn't deal with the stuttering and hesitation. If you have something to say-say it.

"My family has a lot of debt and their really low in money so they don't have enough for me to go to college. And my job isn't paying me enough to cover tuition. So I have to get the money another way..." Jax trailed off, glancing at me to see my reaction as he spoke. I already knew what he did and I was just waiting for the right moment. I needed him to get comfortable with me then he would start to spill his guts.
"You sell drugs?" I suggested and his eyes widened in surprise. "I have nothing against that, Jax. I like drugs, I don't really take them, but they seem fun. As long as you don't get addicted or die that is. It's no big deal that you sell them. You have to get the money somehow." Jax sighed in relief, his plump pink lips moving into a smile.