a/n: this chapter has mentions of self harm and physical abuse so please please please don't read it if you are easily triggered by that kind of thing! also, if you are currently self harming yourself or you are currently being abused- i do invite you to message me for a little chat. i may not be a professional but i do have friends who have self harmed before and two friends who have been absurd so i can offer you some advice. i am happy to just sit and listen to you if you want to or need to rant. i'm always here for you guys x
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six years ago:
as i opened my eyes- pj was still staring into nothingness.
"please peej. you've been doing so well." i sobbed, wrapping my arms around his neck and crying into his stiff shoulder.
"please stay strong for me." i whispered, my voice shaking as i pulled away to look at pj again. my eyes wandered down to his wrists and i focused on his new cuts- shivering as the blood dribbled down his hand. i knew pj had been suffering, but that was before we met. i thought he was alright now. he had shown no signs of relapsing.
"please pj.." i croaked, looking deep into his eyes. his eyes snapped to mine. we stood there for a few seconds, staring at each other. i leaned in to kiss him again, closing my eyes. out of nowhere, i felt a sharp stinging pain on my cheek and my body stumbled back. i managed to steady myself but my eyes flickered open to see pj walking towards me, a murderous glint in his eyes. i felt another sharp pain in my other cheek and fell to the floor, knocking my head against the cold wood.
"please..?" i whimpered before pj kicked me hard in the stomach, sending a shooting pain up my body. he continued to kick as i yelled in pain, feeling absolutely empty. the one boy i trusted most was kicking me to bits in my own bedroom. i cried harder as i heard pj begin to sob, still kicking and punching at my shaking body. why was he attacking me? all i had done was be there for him. what did i do wrong..? my parents would be home soon. and when they saw their fifteen year old son being beat to a pulp- they were bound to act? right? i yelled one more time before losing consciousness and blacking out completely.
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"dan..? dan, wake up sweetheart."
my eyes fluttered open and i saw i was strapped to a hospital bed, feeling like absolute shit inside. the memories from earlier burned into my brain as i shivered.
"mum.." i began, ready to tell her everything.
"baby, i know. don't worry- those boys are gone. you're safe now." wait what? boys?
i looked up at my mum with a confused expression.
"oh dan, do you not remember?" she asked softly. well.. i could, but only pj..
"you were on your way home from school and some boys from your school chased you. they beat you up pretty bad, my love. it was lucky pj was there to help you home before we arrived."
aha. so.. pj had lied? i breathed out shakily.
"where is pj?" i asked, looking up at my mum. she shook her head.
"i don't know.." she admitted. a sigh escapes my lips as i nodded a little, my body aching desperately.
"can i have some time alone please?" i asked quietly. my mum nodded and kissed my temple before leaving me alone. i pulled out my phone from the table beside me and logged onto skype. i pressed pj's name and messaged him.
'we're through. don't bother talking to me again.'
i sent the message and set my phone back on the side, lifting my hands to my face and sobbing quietly. i felt absolutely broken.
