I'm barely able to make it through the weekend without falling apart, and Monday is even worse, with the whispers of coward and weak chasing me down through the school corridors. My parents frequently shoot worried glances at me, but they don't question me. They never involve themselves too much in my personal life, even if I've just been sent to the hospital with slashed wrists.
Tuesday is no better, except I run into Emma. She looks distraught, purple bags under her eyes and uncombed hair in a loose plait. I try to avoid her but she plants her feet in front of me and grabs my shoulders to keep me still.
"Alex, thank God you're here," she says, her fingers digging painfully into my arms. "I really need to talk to you."
"Emma, now's not a good time," I say, trying to pull away, but to no avail.
"Please, just... hear me out, or I swear, I'm going to implode."
I sigh heavily, but nod reluctantly.
"Look, I know about... about the break up. Between you and Matt. And it's my fault."
My jaw drops. "What?"
"I was really angry with you for not wanting my help, so I made Josh talk to Matt to make him break up with you in exchange for a date, and then Josh told me that I was only making you feel worse, so I've been trying to find you to apologise for what I've done," Emma says in one rushed breath.
I stare at Emma. She looks at me with pleading eyes. My heart feels like it's up to my ears, each beat thumping through the eardrums.
"Alex?" she asks hopefully, but I think she knows that she's gone too far.
Thump thump. Thump thump.
"Alex, I am so sorry..."
Thump thump. Thump thump.
"J-Just say something, please, just—"
"Stop," I cut her off mechanically. I extricate myself from her grip and take a step back. I suck in a deep breath to steady my trembling shoulder. "I think that you should stay away from me."
"Alex—"
"No. Just... no. Don't talk to me, don't talk about me, and just stay the hell away from me."
I blink hastily in an attempt to fight the tears, and turn away. I can see people glancing at me from my peripheral vision, people judging me based on how weak I am, but I tune it all out. It all becomes white noise as I trap every conceivable emotion inside and get through the day alone.
Alone. Without Matt, without Emma, that's all I am. Alone.
YOU ARE READING
How to Save a Life
Short Story"Life is like a rollercoaster that you just can't wait to get off." Alex is suicidal. Alex is depressed. This much is true. When Emma finds her crying in the girls' toilets, she tries to help, but she makes a fatal mistake in telling her friends. Wo...
