I'd thought that Emma would make things alright. I'd thought that since Emma found me at my lowest, she'd help get back up, but I was wrong. No one can help you if they don't know the depths of your despair.
The little nagging voice returns when I'm with Matt at one of his friends' parties. I'm curled up on his lap while the music blasts and other kids dance around us, occasionally taking a sip from his bottle of beer.
Matt suddenly stands up, pulling me close to his side. "Where're we going?" I hiss as we wade through the crowds.
"There's a free room upstairs," he says, shooting a sly grin my way. Oh, no.
"Matt, I don't think—"
"Aw, c'mon, don't be a downer," he cuts me off with a pout, drawing me into a kiss as he shuts the door behind us. The room has been cleared out by the host of the party of any personal belongings to the point where it's just a bed with old sheets and an empty dresser. Empty like my insides. Matt carries me to the bed and props himself above me, unbuttoning my shorts while kicking off his shoes. My hands slide under his shirt, his hot skin warming my icy hands, and yet my insides feel numb.
My breathing is shallow and my heart thumps wildly as his lips form a string of fire along my neck, but I can't help but think, I don't want this.
I can't help but think, I don't want this, as we kiss and fumble with each others bodies between the sheets.
I can't help but think, I don't want this, as he scavenges for his underwear and I hide beneath the sheets.
I can't help but think, I don't want this, as I cry in the bathroom while he laughs with his friends.
I never wanted this.
YOU ARE READING
How to Save a Life
Short Story"Life is like a rollercoaster that you just can't wait to get off." Alex is suicidal. Alex is depressed. This much is true. When Emma finds her crying in the girls' toilets, she tries to help, but she makes a fatal mistake in telling her friends. Wo...
