Crossing Over

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The morning I commit the deed is gorgeous. Outside is a pretty colour of cerulean blue and there are practically no clouds. In the air is the scent of the flowers which are blooming. I inhale deeply, the smell is comforting. I've always liked flowers.

Then I turn away, I mustn’t linger, it will only detract me from what I have to do. I stand in front of the full length mirror and look at my reflection, studying the person I am for the second.

My long, curly honey blonde hair hangs far down my body, and my pale skin glints a little in the light. My blue eyes stare determinedly back at me, tinged with the black eyeliner I have applied carefully to each eyelid.

I smile a little, this is thrilling, and it shouldn’t be. But who cares? Around my slender neck I have the black onyx charm that Jimmy gave me when he was still here. It became my most prized posession when he died. I had had to hide it after I had my problems, though, my parents would have surely taken it from me and destroyed it.

I am tall and thin with the long, slim legs. My figure is one that girls envy, that sends boys on lusty rampages. I am beautiful. I am alive, for the moment anyway. Briefly, I wonder what crossing over will be like. Then I take the knife and slowly and deliberately slice open my palm. At once, bright red blood gushes from my wound.

It is painful, but I do not flinch. This has to be done. I consider myself in the mirror again, leaning closer. My eyes are bright and clear with determination. I clutch the onyx charm with my bloody hand, leaning closer. It is cold and hard and reassuring to the touch.

“Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy,” I whisper.

The world swims and spins around me and I feel as if I am falling into the mirror. Everything fades to black and I plummet. This should be terrifying, but instead I savour the feeling, I find it thrilling. I fall for what feels like an eternity with no indication of slowing down.

Suddenly the air goes very still. I feel as if I am choking, like I can’t breathe. But I don’t panic, I refuse to panic. The world stops, just stops, and there is absolute stillness. For a brief moment there is nothing, just nothingness.

And then I blink and I am no longer there, no longer in my room. I look around and a feeling of accomplishment overcomes me. I did it!

But I don’t have time to feel proud. I have to find Jimmy.

I glance up, everything here is bleak. It is as if someone has erased most of the colour from everything. I can distinguish between colours, but they’re all faded looking. It's really weird, and for a second I get lost in the novelty of this place.

Find Jimmy  I remind myself, as I walk along. This place is just like home. It looks like home, but there are differences. It is chilly here, as if someone sucked all the warmth from the place.

For once the Scientists got something right. They had said that the Halfway was  place like our own, but kind of opposite. Looking around, I could see that this was true.

I think of calling Jimmy’s name, but then I decide against it. I don't want to attract uneccessary attention. Instead I crane my neck, trying to see beyond the buildings, where are all the Halfway people?

I think of the one place that Jimmy liked to be when he was living, on the other side. My house. I glance around, looking for it. When I spot it, I break into a run in that direction.

When I get there, I wrench open the door and run up the stairs. I peer across the landing, and into the rooms. The place is deathly still, like it's never even known life. Everything in the house is still, not even the wind blows to rouse things here.  For a second I just stand there breathing heavily. Jimmy’s not here I think, disappointed.

And then I feel hands on my neck, squeezing tight. I gasp, pulling at the hands desperately. I wriggle against the person’s hold and step on their toes viciously. Whoever this was didn't know who the hell they were messing with.The grip doesn’t loosen, but then I elbow them hard in the solar plexus.

“Ooof,” the person, whoever they are, is winded. I take the opportunity while their grip loosens to whirl around. I stop in my tracks immediately when I see who it is. It is as if the world is frozen. Time stands still for a few seconds.

“Jimmy?”

He glances up, and his light brown eyes widen with shock.

“Zoey?” He straightens up, his eyes look at me in disbelief. I grin like a fool and launch myself into his arms, “Jimmy!!”

He grabs me, his arms around me and staggers back a little. Then he pulls back so he could look at me “How are you here?”

“I came back for you,” I state proudly. He looks confused, and then a look of horror gradually overcomes his facial expression, “You can’t be here. You’re not supposed to be here.”

I shake my head, “Wherever you are is wherever I’m supposed to be,” I insist. He shakes his head at that wildly, setting me down, his eyes wild with fear, “Zo, do you know what will happen to you if they find out you’re here?!”

“Who saw you?” he asks me, suddenly.

“What?” I reply, confused, what’s he talking about?

“Who saw you when you came looking for me?” he demands, his voice rising a little. I shake my head, “Nobody, as far as I remember.”

He begins to pace, muttering to himself and I just watch him.

“I don’t understand, Jimmy. Don’t you miss me?” I don’t even bother to mask the hurt from my voice. He stops, grabs my hands, “Of course I missed you Zo. More than anything, but you don’t understand what you’ve done. You’re not supposed to be here.”

I shrug, “So what? I’m here now.”

He looks at me as if I’m four.

“It’s not that simple, Zo,” he says through gritted teeth. I roll my eyes, “It is that simple, Jimmy. You just have to let it be that simple. I’m here, that’s it.”

He laughs mirthlessly, “Things here aren’t like they are over there, Zo. People aren’t the same. They don’t act the same, they’ll kill you. We don’t feel feelings the same over here!”

I’m not sure if I understand him, “So you don’t love me?”

He hesitates, and my breath catches a little. There's a silence and I'm not sure if he'll say it. Finally, he says, “Yes, Zo. I love you, I do. But I don’t feel things the same way I used to.”

"But you love me?" I make sure, looking into his eyes shamelessly. I already know that he does, I just need for him to reassure us both.

"Yes," he replies simply.

"But.." he continues.

I step toward him, “Then that’s all that matters,” I interrupt. 

"Zo, you're not listeni..." I place a finger to his lips, silencing him. My blue eyes search his own brown ones. I didn't want to hear about it, not right now.

"I don't give a damn what anybody says, Jimmy. I love you, and nobody's keeping me from you," I say. There's no room for negotiation. He already knows that I'm stubborn and determined. As soon as I decide I want something, I'll get it. There's no other option for me.

And I stand on my tiptoes, his closeness excites me. I haven't had him this physically close to me in so long, it's dizzying. And then I kiss him. I hope he won't hesitate, and he doesn't disappoint. He kisses me back immediately, responding with fierceness that surprises us both.

The kiss is everything I imagined it would be and more. It's eletcric and euphoric. My entire nervous system sizzles and I smile against his lips.

The kiss deepens quickly, releasing every bit of the out of control, dizzying, crazy adoration we have for each other and soon we can’t stop.