The Girl With The Scars

HOW COULD HE??

The grass had overgrown and was spilling over the fence around our yard. I lay on the soft, moist earth looking up to the clouds. They were so fluffy and white and made funny shapes of animals. I giggled as I began tracing the outline of what looked like a dinosaur being formed by a cumulus cloud.

"Rayelle,where are you?" his stern voice called out. My body was already crippled with fright as my heart boomed in my chest sending shivers up my spine. I rose quickly as I parted the tall grass with my hands and headed towards the porch of my house. There he was hovering over the three concrete steps in front the rusty gate. His hideous face arranged in an angry look that made me swallow saliva that had settled in my mouth.

"Yes dad........d.....daddy," I stuttered as I stood on the last step in front of the gate. His blood red eyes stared onto me. His jaw ticking as I saw his fingers transforming into a fist. I knew what those strong hands did. How they felt across my tender skin.

"What were you doing out there?" He questioned.

"I was just looking at the sky,"

"Come here little girl!" He now demanded.

*How could I react to his statements when my body was stiff as a corpse. I was too afraid.*

My eyes were already filled with the warm liquid that were now peaking over the boundaries of my eyelids. Unable to take control of my legs muscles, I fell to my knees and began sobbing. When I heard the gate being pushed opened with such force I prepared myself for what I knew was next. The first stroke plastered across my back. The stinging sensation enticed my nerves sending painful static to all the layers of my skin and flesh below. The second stroke connected with my neck and the back side of my head. The third, fourth and fifth came so quick and steady I was unaware of where exactly I felt them. He gripped me by my curly hair and dragged me up onto the porch. My tears blurred my vision as I looked up to him. He was now strangling me and I felt my head getting light as the brightness of the day was fading around me. I almost wished he would end it all here. I almost wished he would choke me to death. Before I felt the last breaths being squeezed from me, he released me. My body , almost lifeless, fell with a loud thud on the floor. Echoing in my ears. My temples were throbbing and it still felt like his massive hands were around my neck. My vision hadn't cleared up so I closed back my eyes.

" You looked for that you stupid girl, next time you would have respect for me!"

I heard his footsteps receding to the other side of the porch. Too petrified to move, I lay there, helpless and hopeless.

" Get up off of that god damn floor, what are you a vagrant!" His words lashed out towards me. I was weak. My strength hadn't been regained and I struggled to my feet.

" You lazy whore!" he screamed as he once again clutched my hair and pulled me to my feet. He was so gigantic and tall my head barely passed his waistline. My breathing intensified as unpleasant thoughts circulated my mind. He raised the belt to my face. Fear conceived in my eyes. He smiled and give out a loud growl as he stroke me across my face with the buckle of the belt. Agonizing cries escaped from my mouth. First I tasted it and then i saw it dripping on my T-shirt. BLOOD

" Please , please don't hit me again," I pleaded with him. But how could you plead with the devil himself. He had no sympathy, no love! He was a stone wall. A devil in my life. I hated him. God knows how much I hated him. How I wished he had died three years ago when he got shot. I hated having to call him *dad*. He wasn't my dad. He was just the evil man my mother married to. The man who came into my life to take it away.

He looked at me and for a short time his eyes softened and there wasn't hate in them. But when he threw me against the wall, I knew what I saw wasn't sympathy. He was a psycho. He had to be possessed. I groaned , wiping the blood from my face I rose to my feet, feeling shaky I held onto the wall for support. Tears fell and combined with the blood dripping from the wound I received on my upper lip.

*I don't deserve this. No one does!!! How could he do such things to me . I am just an innocent child!"

As my thoughts trailed I managed to reach to the sofa where my mother confronted me with distasteful words. Confused at what she was saying, I closed my eyes and licked the blood on my lips.

*Why doesn't God take me away from this hell. I can't bear these burdens anymore!!!!