Monster ⇎ Jim Kirk [On Hold]

4

Missed the last train home.
Birds pass by to tell me that I'm not alone.
Well I'm pushing myself to finish this part,
Can handle a lot,
But one thing I'm missing...

Eyes; Rogue Wave

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The bridge crew along with Scotty had gathered on observation deck four. Snacks and drinks sat on a table in the room, waiting to be eaten or drank. No one could bring themselves to look up, let alone eat some food.

Chekov had tucked his legs up to his face, his nose buried between his knees. Uhura fiddled with her hands, tears brimming her eyes. Scotty had missed all of this, he hadn't been able to see Jim in a while. He had no idea the PTSD was that bad, that Jim felt bad enough to hurt himself. Sulu was trying to comfort Chekov, the young man had no idea what to do in this situation. Spock was emotionless as ever.

"I'm sorry to break this tension, but we need to help him. Now." Sulu muttered, having all eyes move to him. Uhura's lip quivered, Chekov nodded with tears now in his hazel eyes.

"I agree, but what do we do? He's been bloody cutting himself!" Scotty exclaimed, taking an apple juice off the table. No alcohol was laid out for a reason, just juices and water. Some carbonated waters.

"Losing your temper Mr. Scott will not help the captain." Spock pointed out, his posture perfect, his face unwavering. Uhura looked like she wanted to slap him; she moved over beside Chekov since they were the most distraught.

"And sitting here completely out of ideas and completely emotionless is the way to help, sure Spock, sure." Scotty sassed, getting up from the couch. He paced back and forth, his feet squeaking on the freshly waxed floor.

"Both of you, not another word!" Uhura snapped, officially breaking her walls. She began to cry, tears water falling from her face. Chekov hugged her, tears streaming down his face as well. Both of them had the hardest time processing what had happened.

Everyone sat in silence again, staring at the floor once again. This was a surreal situation. Doctor McCoy had gotten permission from Jim a while ago that the crew could know about PTSD, just not how bad it was or the extra details.

Meanwhile, Jim sat on and oh so familiar examination bed. Doctor McCoy was reexamining the cuts on his arm, trying to figure out what Jim had used to make such a bad injury. He had taken all scalpels and needles from the room Jim was placed in. Scissors were take, nails were taken, everything was taken. Jim didn't even have access to a razor when he showered.

"James Kirk, I need you to answer this question with the upmost honesty. How did you make this cut? It's almost deep enough to kill you." McCoy asked, having to take a couple breathes in the sentence. For everyone, this was one of the hardest things to process and understand.

Jim took a deep breath, preparing himself to answer. "My fingernails..." He mumbled, completely ashamed of himself.

"What?" McCoy asked, refusing to process what had come out of the young captains mouth. Jim rubbed his face with his non-bandaged hand, taking another deep breath.

"I rubbed with my fingernails until it broke skin and it got deep and bloody." Jim snapped, jumping off the exam bed and walking to his room like an upset teenager. McCoy sighed, deciding that they needed to cut Jim's nails short. But first, he needed to break medical protocol. He needed to tell the crew what was wrong with Jim.

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Sorry this took a bit and sorry for any mistakes, I was pretty shaky when I wrote this. I've been going through a ton so I am really really trying to write this. I kept missing letters while writing so I apologize if any of those stuck and auto correct didn't fix it. Thanks for reading! Feel free to vote or comment!